Sudden Realization:

What do I want in love?
When I was young, in school, having no clue about relationship, I thought I need a girl who can act like my friend, be close to, share tender moment with, and etc...
After some dating, and relationships, I thought I would need someone who I can have sex with anytime and that's it.
However, I found myself can hardly be excited if I am not emotionally involved with the girl.

What do I need then?
I need someone who loves me more than I love her. It's probably the solution since I have never had such relationship. I resist such relationship for that I was afraid that I was not having the best possible girl I could find if she loved me more than I loved her. I would not have time to appreciate her unique personality and goodness if she continues to show me love. As long as a girl continue to show love, I would never have chance to peek into the unique quality in her. I thought that I always needed to be with someone who's unique. I would like to know that I am being with someone no one else may substitute so that I would never regret that I have had treasured her.

What do I need now?
I need close, trusted friends. Most probably, female friends.