Occurring between 14 and 20 November each year, the Leonids is associated with Comet 55P/Tempel-Tuttle. Its radiant is at right ascension 10 hours 14 minutes and declination +22 degrees, lying close to the third magnitude star Adhafera (Zeta Leonis) in the constellation Leo. Unlike in 1999, astronomers estimate that more than one trail may produce substantial activity.

This is quoted from the Hong Kong Space Museum Website. Joined the fellowship gang at the HKUST shore area, I saw the most magnificent event of my life! The meteors slashed across the sky with heart-pounding power. Each strike was an adrenalin rush. Eye witnessing one strike after another clear the last remaining bit of doubt about my religious believe that God created ALL things. Although I was trying very hard to focus on making worldly-wise wishes, such as hitting the Mark 6 jackpot, every time the meteoroid burnt the skyscape, my heart could not feel anything else but awe!

Note to myself:
Tokina 20-35/2.8 ATX Pro f/Canon AF (U) www.focuscamera.com US$780.05 ~ HK$6,084.31

Books I like to purchase in the future:
The Role of Theology and Bias in Bible Translation: With a special look at the New World Translation of Jehovah's Witnesses

I got up really late today. I have had multiple dreams while the daylight shined through the bedroom window. I turned off the air-conditioner after the early morning pee. The remaining cold air without the humming noise was a real treat, especially when I was in such a good mood to dream.
I dreamt about carol.
Long time had I been able to dream about her. This incidence has not only confirmed her status on my all-time breakup top-10 list but also charted as the #1 unforgettable breakup. As I was walking on the street today while trying hard to capture some flimsy details abouth the dream, some of the beautiful memory surfaced.
I felt satisfied.

Little Mic and I are trying to produce a DV movie. I am the producer and he's the director. We're conjuring the story now.

Fellowship topic today was "boys and girls". We talked about relationship. Talking about how men are from Mars and women are from Venus, etc... ;-) It was fun. Fellowship gangs liked the photos I took during the hiking trip! ;-> I felt very happy that they liked the photos. I am going to scan them into digital format so that I may share with friends online.

Sudden Realization:

What do I want in love?
When I was young, in school, having no clue about relationship, I thought I need a girl who can act like my friend, be close to, share tender moment with, and etc...
After some dating, and relationships, I thought I would need someone who I can have sex with anytime and that's it.
However, I found myself can hardly be excited if I am not emotionally involved with the girl.

What do I need then?
I need someone who loves me more than I love her. It's probably the solution since I have never had such relationship. I resist such relationship for that I was afraid that I was not having the best possible girl I could find if she loved me more than I loved her. I would not have time to appreciate her unique personality and goodness if she continues to show me love. As long as a girl continue to show love, I would never have chance to peek into the unique quality in her. I thought that I always needed to be with someone who's unique. I would like to know that I am being with someone no one else may substitute so that I would never regret that I have had treasured her.

What do I need now?
I need close, trusted friends. Most probably, female friends.

Today, a new Wellcome supermarket opens across our office building. Ice-cream is half-priced! I bought one box! Yummy! Sendmail Inc. has a Asia Pacific operation based in HK now. Their office is in the Central Plaza on 35th floor in the business centre.

Went hiking with fellowship to MacLehose Trail:
Route Long Ke to Pak Tam Au and Route Pak Tam Chung to Long Ke.
We went to Long Ke Wan to play after finishing the first part of the trail. The water was so clear that we could hardly believe it's a beach in Hong Kong! It was such an unforgettable afternoon with beautiful sunshine, and the magnificent beach! The sand so tender and soft that every step of the way walking toward the coast felt like walking on cloud! The water so clear and clean that we could eyeball school of fish swifting around our feet in the coastal sea water! The unpolluted sea and white sandy beach would be one of the prettiest beaches in Hong Kong!

Went to Macau to submit tender again. Saw IBM, JOS, and another company with a very long name... couldn't tell... I still own Samuel and Amanda a write-up of the application solution. Lots to work to finish tonight and I am really looking forward to the hiking trip on Thursday with the fellowship.

Had meeting at Sun's office from noon till 6:00 p.m. non-stop. I collected almost 3 dozens Sun's name card now.

Went to the North Point Alliance Church Sunday worship. Lunched with Yeda and 2 other friends from the Philippi fellowship. The Philippi fellowship is planning to migrate it's location to the newly developed satellite community in Kowloon - Tseung Kwan O. Yeda's planning to go with the Philippi fellowship crew to TKO.

Spent last night in Macau living in the new quarter provided by CEM. Had lunch with Danny and Keegan. Saw the movie "America's Sweethearts". (link to Yahoo Movies) & (link to Rotten Tomato)
Won the Macau Fund Accounting system project. Kick-started the CEM SIA project. Hopefully, we'd win the rest of the projects that we're prospecting.

rgrep -lir -x jsp '' ~hair38/httpdocs/

Server to be moved to ETNS... another datacenter. Went there to setup. Stayed up all night... haven't slept for 24 hours... it's like this always everytimes migrating server stuffs... and it's like never ending configuration and configuration and .... i am dying... i need some sleep... i need food... i gain weight... oh... my belly... Hah... fat fat fat. wooo.... had phone conversation with GG and she's ill since she had hardly slept any for the last couple of day, too... hang in there, GG! ;-> and nelson hasn't been sleeping since he's rushing johnny's proposal... and the Macau accounting software deal hasn't been confirm... danny called to ask how it goes... and blah blah blah... and i am in the MTR... and TinYee went to japan... cousin stanley's still in hk... haven't seen AI... seriously wanting to see it. but would someone go with me? i don't want to go to see this one alone. liked Fight Club a lot. watched it and watched it quite a number of times already. i found that the more i watched the less natural the acting was... i was setting dvd machine, (playing vcd though) on A-B repeat mode playing back some of the monologue... Hah... stupid me.. saw a tv show that talks about Alien Hand.... icq carol about it since she had once told me about the left and right side of the brain's in fact controlling the other side of our bodies... and ... these stuffs just fascinate me much.. hah. the brain.. like the minuscule universe.. is sitting on top of my neck! Universe on my Neck!

"Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don't need."

Tyler Durden, "Fight Club"

Back from Macau. First time spending a night in Macau.
Today's news: "Two Hijacked Planes Destroy World Trade Center, Third Plane Strikes Pentagon; Thousands Feared Dead."

Couldn't get up this morning and I ended up in the bed till dusk. Just back to finish up the proposal to Sun Microsystems. Hopefully, our team may win the project! Been busy travelling back and forth the Macau. The CEM client server application project sales deal has just been closed. Yeah! However, they're thinking about making the application web-based. Nelson and I would have further meeting with them on Monday tommorrow.

Saw the movie, "The Animal", with GG and her friend CR at the AMC Festival Walk II movie theatre. (link to Yahoo Movies) & (link to Rotten Tomato)
CR and GG are classmates. CR, GG, and I went window shopping at the LOG-ON for a while after the movie. GG is living in Tsuen Wan. I MTRed her back to Tsuen Wan, then I MTRed myself back to Sheung Wan, and now ending up in the office.
I am going to the church with Stanley and Tin Yee tomorrow. I don't know how Tin Yee feel about Stanley now but I am sure Stanley (my cousin) is definitely interested in pursuing Tin Yee. Stanley was just back from the trip to PR China visiting our uncle... well... well... sign... (something I'd rather not say here...)

It was quite an exciting evening yesterday night. I met "greengage (GG)" <code name for a friend whom I mentioned before but preferred to be called this way on blogger>. GG read the whole ericarol.com! GG asked me if I am going to write anything about her. And I said yes. She was quite concerned about this... and ... well... you know the feeling... embarrassed... both of us felt quite embarrassed.
GG was cute. That's about it I could say about her. We talked a lot. The conversation kept going and going. Mostly stupid conversation though. It was long before I could talk stupid in front of anyone for so long. Probably not after carol till I met GG.
Tonight, I went to grandmother's place to dine again (yesterday, too). Cousin's family went travelling to PR China. The Philippine maid, May, and grandmother cooked me the dinner.
Tomorrow, going to meet Virtuallight.net's CEO and his Technical Director to sign NDA and see their demo. They are brothers.

I was in Macau today. I was seriously embarrassed in front of all the vendors that�s participating the bid. LH of AA, the boss of MP was on the panel. I was going with FL�s partners as one of the bid. I called Ahim of Sun this morning asking for advices already. He was telling me to stay on the Sun�s side in order to keep my share of the action if just either BM or FL win. But I thought FL�s CEO didn�t know that in advance so when LH of AA asked in front of all the vendors which side I was representing� . . . . seriously� I was numbed for seconds� then I said that I was representing Sun� (what??? Sun wasn�t invited to this meeting though� damn� ) It was bad� it was really bad� damn�
Okay� be cool eric� be cool� and Monday we'd have bigger fish to fry since I am leaving for Macau again to accept the tender offer from CEM and it�s going to be great! Yes, everything�s going to be working out just fine!

Okay� okay�

Had conversation with Winnie again� I told her about this website and she had actually read the whole site, I meant everything on this page and the archives as well!!! Bad news� since I was hoping she might become my future friend in the real life! I had conversation discussing this feeling I had. And she said she found me a �bad person� after reading what I wrote. I was trying really hard to defend myself. I was trying to argue that what I am writing on this site doesn�t represent the real me. But does this argument valid anyway?! :-p

<Cyber Emotion>
Or I was saying that just to save faces or trying to not lose her... or maybe I was somehow emotionally involved that I was too afraid to disclosed everything I knew about myself in front of her?! Damn.. getting tricky and I hate that... and the truth is that I shouldn't be so emotionally involved since I haven't even meet this girl before!!!
</Cyber Emotion>

Bad move� bad move� don�t tell anyone anything about this website again�

For the third consecutive day I had phone conversation with a new ICQ friend of mine who's living in Shatin. Her name is Winnie. She's 19. I had fun talking to her.
Went to little Alan�s wedding ceremony. He's getting married with Janet. I caught a cold. Was too tired for the last two days because of rushing Alfonso's SMS website project.

Saw the movie "Jurassic Park 3". (link to Yahoo Movies) & (link to Rotten Tomato)

Saw the movie "Rush Hour 2". (link to Yahoo Movies) & (link to Rotten Tomato)

Finally, saw the movie "What Women Want". (link to Rotten Tomato) & (link to Yahoo Movies)
It came highly recommended by carol. It's a really good movie. I would have wished that I could be as sensitive as Mel Gibson in the movie. But it's just too bad that selfish ME always put MY own feeling as priority!
Saw the Korean Movie, "Happy End". (link to Chicago International Film Festival)

Haven't blogged for a while. Opened the blog area, seeing something not written by me gave a minor heart attack.
Seriously! I am not kidding!
But afterall, what a pleasant surprise! Yeah! I am glad! Hah!
Well.... I was wanting to mumble some of my recent encounters with girls. So here we go:
But-Sou came back for summer job. He's now working as a magazine photographer. He has a friend who is living in Cheung Chau called TC. TC introduced me to his friend SS when we went out for Karaoke one night. SS was charming. She reminds me of the girl studied in UBC who initially dated the Fairchild TV Eric. SS is the mature version of her. SS works in Andersen. I dated her to one lunch and one dinner. That's it. No more dating with SS. I have to remember that... though it's tempting to date her again since she's kinda... "I wanna date her" type... well... what I am talking about ..... . . . . ..... .... In short, doesn't work out at all.

Disastrous!

VY... another girl. She went to the same senior high school with me. But-Sou is more acquaintant with her than me since I didn't hang out much at that time. YV is now working in ING. I had never found her to be attractive until recently. I've tried to get close to her. One point I found out about myself during the "getting close" process is that I have less interest and pay less effort in pursuing female subject if she's less sexually appealing!!! And VY is exactly the case! She's perfect in many ways that I would rate her highly. Nonetheless, I didn't have the enough eagerness to pursue her like I did for carol. The reason is simple after some evaluation (day dreaming during office hour):

"Her breasts are not big enough!"

I don't fantasize making love to her at all. This is the, as Ken Young called it, GATING FACTOR!!!!

"Disgusting ME!"

Almost forgot, I met GT, a tall girl who had modeled for carol and I at the Parker Place fashion show. GT bumped into me on the street. She called out my name first! She's the kind of girl who looks mature but young at heart. I had one dinner date with her. She hinted that she's opened to my pursuit if I was interested... only if I didn't mind the fact that she already had a 6-year stable boyfriend and a 3-months affair with another married man......

This is how Hong Kong's girl behave... soooooo "modern"!

Cousin Lay Lay came to Hong Kong to visit grandmother with her fiance. Her fiance is an eye surgeon.
Damn... she married a physician doctor...
(well... this is definitely just kidding.... I would hate myself if I take that male-physician-doctors-are-all-bad-guys thing to cousin Lay Lay's husband...)
Mr. Right is a such a fine gentleman. Yes, I can tell. Cousin Lay Lay's happiness flooded inside-out!!!
I was coming to recognize myself as a gentleman outside but non-gentleman inside type... (just to be a little gentle to myself... Hah...)
I was afraid that I cannot change this.
And I have to accept myself as a non-gentleman despite the fact that many women have been telling me that girls like to be gently treated.

Phoebe came back from vancouver to take summer break. She's leaving on Monday. Aaron, TO, Tin Yee, and Joseph came out for gathering twice. The first time at Joseph's home, and yesterday at the Admiralty J.W. Marriott. We had, like always, profound discussion of all the topics in the world we could think of. These group of friends are quite unique. We are close in terms of relationship but remotely separated either by location or career practice. I talked about this ericarol.com website I've been working on to Aaron and Phoebe. However, I didn't told them the url. This ericarol.com is kind of a special place for me to mumble something...

"Over Time", the Japanese TV episode, is again, a re-run of the break-up of carol and I. This time, the story shows a even more resemblant case in terms of the characters' personal background. Sign...
My birthday was such a great one. The reason of it being so great this year is that there is plenty of people greeting me through phone and e-mail. All the best people I've ever know came to greet me! Yeah! No celebration this year. I am working on the tender proposal since nelson and his gf went off for vacation to Thailand. It's due 15 hours later! And I have to ship this proposal to Macau... along with myself since I've got an appointment there as well!
Talked to father. He's like in the really really up northern China now... having a conference there showing off his inventions. He's dating quite a number of girls, too. All too very young! All young enough to be qualified to be my gf instead of his! Had phone conversation with mom and brother in Vancouver, too. My brother, Gordon, is exploring the opportunity of working in RCMP.

Watching the Japanese TV episode called "Over Time".

Had phone conversation with dad. Miss his birthday. He told me that I had missed the Father's Day as well. Well, kinda relieve that Father's Day hasn't arrived yet so that I would still have a chance to make up for missing his birthday greeting. Called dan. Her interior design business seems to be going quite well. She said that she's probably coming to Hong Kong for a vacation. Had meeting with Eureka, louis & fanny + their new partners, daniel & steven. l & f dropped by our new office to pay visit to fung, lawrence, terence, and gavin. f, l, t, g shown l & f the work they did. I think l & f were quite impressed. Daniel agreed. Had lunch with Daniel. Chatted. He's kinda excited about the opportunity of getting the funding from the Eureka gangs but not spending on the IT related field. Funny idea maybe. But I kinda got carried away, too. His 3D inventor uncle, my father's patented inventions, blah, blah, blah... even micelle�s idea of founding her own company... blah...
nelson and his gf had dinner with their newly wedded couple.
nelson�s fond of the elder daughter of our office building�s landlord. The rest of the office gang was all excited about the younger daughter of the landlord. Fung was flirting his best with the Brenda. It�s hilarious! Elder = Ida + Younger = Brenda
Brenda, in my opinion, a less (but still) good-looking and horizontally compressed version of Monica� yeah� she reminded me of Monica� Hah�

1st June: Office moved.
Now using dialup Internet access... damn slow.
ADSL coming tomorrow.
Mr. To referred Cancer Fund programming job to us. 2nd meeting today.
Daniel was back yesterday.
Stanley called me to go to the Leon Lai concert on Friday tomorrow. He got free tix for 2. I told him to let me be his backup guest of honor! Letting Jones, the girl he's pursuing, be his date! Hope everything went well for him.

I fixed the Outlook Express bugs by seeking help from google group(formerly deja.com).
On my way to my grandmother's place to dinner, walking pass the residential building area of the Mei Foo community, I got spited on my face right from above. That's one shit load of spit I got there! Shit... First time ever in my life got spited like that...

Worst thing can ever happen to me:
My Outlook Express's cannot be open! HELP!!!

I visited my grandmother this evening for dinner and gathering. My cousin dug out some of my mails I wrote to him. I meant hand written mails but not some e-mails, okay! :-p
It was dated 13 January 1993. I was in Montreal then. I wrote to my cousin a lot then. He was my pen pal and my best friend. I wrote to him about my daily activities, my feelings towards life, and anything related to photography. I was such a photography enthusiast. I told him that I wrote an essay in class. I was also required to read aloud in the English class. Everyone in my class laughed their head off! Here we go:

Title: Once and for All

Sometimes, when people talk about beauty, I think to myself, ��I will never ever have a chance to meet a girl like her again.��

Eight months ago, when I was lining up for a ticket to a philharmonic concert, some sweet laughter came from behind my back. I turned back carefully and I noticed that three girls were gossiping. I glanced over them, and just at that moment, an extraordinarily handsome girl struck my eyes.

At the moment I saw her, she was flipping her perfect long black hair over her shoulder. A fresh scent rushed into my body, as if I had been placed in a big pasture, and could fell a warm wind blowing on me. Her laughter was like the songs that just the angels sing. Every tiny action she did had enough power to propel me to do anything for her. Her graceful face typified the golden period of the world. The fluttering eyelashes could make my spirit fled out of the earth!

Thank God! I did not catch her sight. If I did, I would have felt on to my knees due to the sudden shock. I knew the struck time was just a few seconds but it seemed I had already gone through all my life!

Although in my mind I still think it is ridiculous, it really happened.

Kim's photos at the following links:
http://www.999tiyu.com/News/china/SerialA/200103/4681720010322.htm
http://sports.online.sh.cn/sports/gb/content/2001-03/23/content_109009.htm
http://www.21sports.com/StaticNews/2001-03-23/News13a38399.htm
http://www.dzwww.com/tiyu/tiyujingcaitupian/200103220664.htm
http://sports.megajoy.com/subject/34/34-03.htm#001

Went hiking with VL and her friends. 2 of her friends went to UBC same as I did! One of the guy was one of the founder of UBC CCS as well! The guy called Steven Chiu knew carol, too! What a small world!

I went to Macau for a business apointment. On my way back, I finished the book, Haruki Murakami's "Norwegian Wood". Highly recommanded!

no blog for today... I am reading a book. Very interesting book. So... no time to blog... bye... blog... bye....

Just arrived Hong Kong. Now in office. Called father on my way back.

I went out with Jenny today to go shopping. I bought quite a number of books. I thought of Kim. Thinking I am going to write to her more and since my Chinese handwriting is like shit, I bought a couple of Chinese handwriting practice scrapbooks to improve my handwriting style. I had fun spending time with Jenny. She likes me a lot. I really enjoyed spending time with her since she's exactly the type of person I may spend "silent time" with. "Silent time" means none of us have to speak a word during the time we��re together and still have lots of fun!
Big Mic and his friends are now playing Mahjong at the Shanghai Hotel game room. I think he��s going to be late for home tonight.
I bought a card for mother��s day. It��s a card designed for sending from daughter to mother. I bought it since mother always would have wanted a daughter. Hopefully this card with surpise her the coming Mother's Day!

Had dinner with #3. She looked extremely tired with 2 big black eyes! She's working in AdSociety now. She stood more firmly on the so-called "friendship" relationship with me now than the last time I came to Shanghai. She said that she really needed a boyfriend who may always be around but not physically so far away! This is happening again and again and again. The 3rd time a woman I had feeling for saying stuff like this to me! The god damit 3rd time!
I went to KTV night club with michael's friends afterward. daniel's 1st time into a Shanghai KTV night club. I really didn't enjoy the KTV scene but I was feeling too lonely to just went back home alone. daniel's KTV girl was very charming in fact! Ha! I didn't request any KTV girl since I had absolutely no mood what-so-ever to flirt with any female. (I'd have my 2nd thought provided "any female" = Kim!) I kept singing the whole night. daniel was too sick to enjoy his charming KTV girl, too! Poor daniel!
I sent a postcard to Kim. michael commented on my poorly written Chinese on the postcard. Damn...
It's my own writing anyway. Suddenly I think I shall practice hand-writing better Chinese characters.
It's really late now... like 2:30 in the morning... shall have a shower and go sleep now... bye bye...

fung called but the connection broke. Just emailed him to ask him to call me again.
Called Kim this morning. She's in Guangzhou now shooting scenes. I told her that I missed her so that I called. She giggled! Well I told her that I wrote to her. She said she's going to be back to Tianjin on 22th.

Now in Shanghai! Yeah!
Called #3. She's glad that I was finally here! Can't wait to see her!
Michael and Daniel and the rest of the R&D gang are still discussing the Photo project that we've just got while I am here blogging! Hee hee!

I invited ukjoe to drop by my office today to review our company's product, and to give some comment.
She told me that she's been reading this ericarol.com and she said that I was being "love sick"!
Ohm...
I AM LOVE SICK! :p And I am proud of my Sickness! Yeah!
I wrote the letter to Kim. She's probably still shooting the film somewhere in Guangzhou now. I felt reluctant to call her for the next couple of days since I've already written her that letter. What am I suppose to say for instance?

pUzZleD?!?!?

Well, anyway, I am leaving for Shanghai tomorrow! Yeah! I am going to visit #3 and some other friends. I've been calling #3 once every few weeks recently. She's friendly still. But what I really want to do is to French Kiss her! I really like to kiss her anyway. Love or not... I don't really care! But a Big Wet French Kiss is what matters the most! Ha ha!

I saw the movie: "Jiang Hu - The Triad Zone". Highly recommanded!
I am going to write a letter to Kim telling her what I've been thinking and see how it goes! Good luck, Eric!

Well, well, well... during this long long weekend... I've been doing quite a number of things. Been to boat cruise with daniel and his friends, been to Shenzhen trying to visit Kim.

Kim, Kim, Kim, don't you know that your electric eyes and hip-long hair captured my soul! Gosh, if you're going to turn me down, please make it ASAP cuz' I'm afraid that I am going to lose my mind if you drag on any longer!

I arrived Shenzhen, called her, and she said that she's still shooting scenes that she's unavailable so that we'd be in touch later that night. I suggested I'd called her again at 8:00pm that night.
......................
I went to have my long hair cut. Summer's coming plus my model friend, PW said that few weeks ago that I should cut my hair. I got it cut, and I regretted that. Damn. Foolish me! I look so damn nerdy now...
I went to have my dinner. Sat at the restaurant for an hour and a half. Ordered congee and fried oiled vegetables. Watching the channel that aired TVB's programs but inserted with Shenzhen's commercials. Sat till 8:00pm.
......................
At 8:00pm, I called. And this is what I heard throughout the rest of that day, I meant yesterday:

The mobile subscriber has either turned off the phone or not active now. Please try again later.

I tried later. But still, no answer. I thought to myself that she did it on purpose. She turned off the phone on purpose! I went back to Hong Kong. Well, at least, yesterday, from my lonely trip, worst come to worst, I learned to ride 104 or 101 bus back to Central from the Hung Hom Railway Station. On the bus, I also watched a very touching commercial that produced by the Hong Kong Tourism Board. Yes, nowadays, flat-panel LCD TVs are mounted on many buses that aired commercials!
Woke up this morning. Called her again. I woke her. She said that her cellular had been out of battery and the shooting has been lasted till late at night. She was reluctant to called me after she's back to the hotel since it's already one o'clock in the morning.
Relieve?
A definite NO!
From my experience, girls tell a lot of lies. They might not be talking what they actually mean to say.
Gosh... a definite rejection is what will make me really relieve. That rejection is something I don't want it to come, too!
IRONIC ME! Fxxk!

My SSA called you DA, so what, DA and the scum of the universe!! @$#13%!!!!!!

The article in EasyFinder that features me as their model!!!

I called Kim. She's having dinner when I called. She asked me if the lottery ticket I had sent to her won us anything. I hanged up after saying "No". She asked for my phone number. I don't to how to precede the conversation further anyway. :p
Let's talk about my feeling for carol now. The feeling for carol now is like... ohm... how may I put it... less impact. Time heals. This is really true. Time heals.
Once I even thought to myself that carol really doesn't deserve me. I don't have any passion for her anymore. She's so remote. Physically as well as mentally. I still have her photos in my Banana Republic bag. carol gave me the bag as a present. Vivid imagination of her hardly appears anymore. Sometimes I draw carol's photos out holding them close to my eyes asking myself if I have really met this person. I told elise what I thought. She responded that I was in fact still abnormal!!!
Damn...
What's normal anyway? Plainly forget her?! Am I able to do this? Will "Time" help this time around?

nelson told me that this month is a good fortune month for him. Astroeast.com is the site he's seeking his fortune telling from.

I say, "Dumb Ass, nelson!"

I am a P/T model of StarEasy.com.

Surviving the heat of stock crash and economic sentiment (or even potential recession) is the primary goal now. PWC had good response with our product. 2 other major vitural hosting companies will endorse our product as well!

Now I am back with nelson... working for nothing... damn...
Just been to AC's party and daniel's K party.
Hey! By the way, I was doing the photo shooting of impersonating Takeshi Kaneshiro for the weekly magazine, "EasyFinder". Gonna be published the coming Sunday! :p
nelson's gf's just back, too!

The name of Kim in Chinese GB: �����

O!
Kim Kim Kim...
Yes. I am facsinated by her.
PW and Kim left for Tianjin today. I bought a lottory ticket today and mailed to Kim's home address. The lottory ticket represented "opportunity". I hope I might have opportunity to do many many things with her in the future and to get to know her better.

tony left for Vancouver. Company restructured. Heard from mom that CH got a beautiful sister but too bad she's 3 years older than me. Moved into a neat 2-room appartment with nelson and his gf. HK$6400/month. software ag got a new MD. Met him last Friday. Energetic guy. Got a crush on Kim who was sharing the hotel room with PW, my model friend from Tianjin. Kim got that gorgeous hip-long hair with electric light brown eyes.... blew me away... They are representing Tianjin touring HK. Saw the movie, "Traffic", with PW at UA, Admiralty.
nelson wants to have access to blog this weblog. Let's see what he want to say!

Just back from grandmother's funeral. Now in Hong Kong. Back to work. Busy day...

Just been back from Macau again. Quick trip. Had dinner there. Went with tony.
Leaving for Tianjin tomorrow. Be back on next Tuesday. Hope for a better tomorrow...

I think I am slowing drifting away from the shadow of carol. She had made me not-myself throughout the whole year 2000 and also carried on to the biginning of year 2001...... daniel came back. He told me that carol's not worth it. He said carol's too negative. It might not be what daniel had said. However, this triggered my sense of being myself again. I dumped my passionated activities such as listening to classical musics and swimming after I was with carol. I bought a few CDs recently. I listen to them. I read books about classical musics again. I am beginning to enjoy life. I am definitely not trying; as a matter of fact, I am enjoying my life now! I'd recommand you to read books written by Swafford, Jan if you want to explore what's available in the classical music as a biginner.

I mindlessly clicked into someone else page through the Blogger.com's frontpage link list, found Evelyn's Journal. Her grandmother had just passed away, too...

10:45p.m.: my grandmother (my mother's mother) died.
My mother has just called in telling me this news, crying.
She was trying to leave for Tianjin to see grandmother the beginning of next month.
Couldn't make it...

Just saw a VCD, "Ordinary Heroes", directed by Ann Hui.

Calafonia Red Karaoke, Causeway Bay. Over 40 people has packed in the same room yesterday night. daniel called that K. party. Friends started to gather up packing the room since 00:30a.m. this morning. What a scene! Most of the people in the room even daniel himself doesn't know!
I met M.. She's cute. She's probably qualified to be my girlfriend except that she's a smoker. I think I like her very much anyway.
Went house hunt with nelson and his gf, meiyee this afternoon. We thought we finally got the one we like. We're going to make an offer to the agency tomorrow morning.
Just made a call to #3. She's in Shanghai still studying and working. She's working hard on her TOFEL now. I think she's really prepared to go aboard.

daniel and I had serious doubt about tony's explaination of the sudden act of leaving his former gf, victoria. tony and victoria were such acknowledged pair of couple that friends like daniel and I were all looking forward to the wedding day of them to come. And look at what we have now: victoria's broken heart and the embarassment that tony's facing in HK (basically just daniel and I, haha!). daniel and I were such prick.... sign... hee hee....
In order to get tony to confess, daniel and I made fun of tony often with insensitive jokes about his relationship and further quest for love. tony's response was indifference.

Went to Energy Karaoke in Causeway Bay the day before yesterday night. Spent HK$230. Gosh! I really couldn't affort it no more! daniel called me to go. V. came, too. The more I saw V., the more I liked her.
Magic!
She told me she's leaving for UK 2 weeks later. I asked if she'd ever come back. She said something like "anytime" though I had no idea what that meant... The K. room's music was too loud to allow me to have a comfortable inquisition. Furthermore, I thought she's leaving anyway. What could I do, right?
right...... sign...

I visited Queens Bar & Disco in Central near my office. Daniel and his friend went. He's calling me to go to a bar called Liquid tonight. But I am in fact very tired now... what shall I do... :(

orthoevra.org is a domain name I registered recently.

I am looking for Lahela Lyndsay (hope I got it right!). This is a net friend I met in a chat room (either excite or yahoo) a year ago. She's been acting kind and considerate comforting me about the lost of my girlfriend. She's living in Maui, Hawai. Her father was a teacher. She got a boyfriend with a name similar to the nickname I used often... balabin... something.... well...
I lost her contact method. I hope I may be able to get in touch with her again! :-)

Japanese are just so creative and "professional" about sex... check this out:
Hands-off Condom

fung's friend has been setting up a new company doing rave party business. They has already held a successful one called P.L.U.R. at L.A. Cafe in Admiralty a month ago. I found an interesting site that talks about the rave party's essential drug:
ecstasy.org

Sang with nelson, michael and their gfs yesterday night in WaiChi. In the mean while, daniel was holding another K party at California Red in Causeway Bay. He urged me to check out for "suitable" girls and to hang out with!
I went!
I was disappointed since their was none! :-) I was also glad that I went since I saw michelle there!
In short, michelle is an extremely "accommodating" person. She's performing unlike the michelle I had lunch with! Last night, she was into the "daniel ex-girlfriend mood" as I subjectively put it... hahaha :-)
Gosh... I had fun.
V. arrived late last night. She's, still, pretty pretty. Anyhow, she's not "suitable", anyway...
I went back to sang with nelson's gang after I socialized with daniel's gang for a while. vancouver's jennifier (alice's sister) was there last night, too! What a pleasant surprise! Many ppl are back to HK now...

RH has just invested in us. RH's also helping us to raise our next round of funding. We're going to meet a CEO of a Taiwan high-tech company tomorrow at 2:30pm at RH's office. He's a friend of RH. Amonic's working shareholders held a strategic meeting tonight(yesterday night I should've said). Our strategy tomorrow is going to be as frank as possible since everybody knows that the market's not really performing so if we still play it the "prestigious" way, we might not get the funding to continue. Products that we've developed need funding to be further developed and be promoted. Cross figures that everything goes well tomorrow.
Joined dinner with daniel and his female friend called V.. She's pretty pretty. ;-p

GOT rejected from F. after I attempted to confirm the lunch by calling her. Sign... :}

Now I am living in office. First night. Lawrence's gonna be here as well. We've just finished discussing some issues regarding our company's direction and what our future might hold.
I called F. today for a lunch date on Wednesday. I didn't know why I made it on Wednesday. But I made it on Wednesday anyway. :p My heart beats.
DD ICQed me today. I confessed to DD that I had had a crush on her while I was with carol but "withdrew my crash" afterward due to some reasons... which is: "I love carol." She said that she had sensed it then. I said I was amazed. Afterall, sensitivity is every girl's basic instinct!
DK had dinner with ML. Eager to hear what they have to say about their first date after their break-up few years ago. Well, ML's going to get married on September, 2001 anyway. I believe there's nothing much DK can do except wishing her happy.
What a day today of love affair finale!

I made a call to carol couple of days ago.
What if I didn't make that call?
On 28th of Feburary 2001, Seattle earthquake measures 6.8 on the Richter scale. Vancouver was affected somehow. Once I got the news in the morning of HK time, I called my little brother, Gordon, who's in Vancouver. He said he was bumped up and down a few times off the sofa while he's watching TV. Later that day, I made a call to carol on the tram while heading my way to meet a client.

How's it quake?
It's ok.
What? (bad signal)
If there's nothing much, please don't call anymore.
What? (I didn't get it.)
If there's nothing much, please don't call anymore!
What?
(offline)

Couldn't help myself but tried to keep my reputation as "not considerate", I wrote a email to carol saying things like:

My voice makes you sick, isn't it? I really hope the answer is a "no" though I'm not sure about my judgement anymore after talking to you on the phone this morning. Please tell me the truth, ok?

I got an ICQ message from carol today goes:

what i said the other day was....if there's nothing much, please don't call anymore. Thank you.
Thought you wanted an honest answer.

I replied with:

I was a bit worry about you. I think it's being considered "nothing much", right? I shall respect what you said and wait till there's "something much" to call you again la...

And this is the end of another "healthy" and "constructive" conversation carol and I had.

EMAIL JOKES:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BOY : Since we met, I can't eat or drink...
GIRL : Why not ??
BOY : I'm broke.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BOY : May I hold your hand??
GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GIRL : Did you miss me while I was away??
BOY : Were you away??
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GIRL : Who was that girl I saw you kissing last night??
BOY : What time was it??
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!
BOY : You love me...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??
BOY : Sure, what's your phone number??
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest..
BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple..
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
CAROL : Do you remember when you proposed to me? I was so overwhelmed, I couldn't speak for an hour..
PETER : Yes darling, that was the happiest hour of my life...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1st MAN : I'm worried about my daughter. She keeps being chased by the doctor.
2nd MAN : Has she tried an apple??
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever..
BOY : Don't you ever want to improve??
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BOY : I love you and I could die for you!
GIRL : How soon??
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!
GIRL : Yes, but would you stay there??
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??
TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of his mouth.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man : You remind me of the sea.
Woman : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?
Man : NO, because you make me sick.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Wife : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.
Husband : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of the mouth.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mary : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly. What do u think, Peter?
Peter : A bit of both. I think you're pretty ugly.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Peter : Mom, does God use our bathroom?
Mom : What make you say that, Peter?
Peter : Because Daddy bangs on the door every morning and yells, "Oh god, are you still there?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Customer : How much is that tie?
Salesman : Forty dollars.
Customer : Why, I can buy a pair of shoes with that much money.
Salesman : But how would a pair of shoes look around your neck.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Jimmy : Mom, can I have two pieces of cake?
Mom : Certainly. Take this piece and cut it in two.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Woman : How can I ever repay you for your kindness and consideration to me?
Man : By cheque, money order or cash.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sam : I hate to see a girl standing in a bus when I'm comfortably seated.
Lily : So what do you do?
Sam : I close my eyes.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Teacher : Have you given the goldfish fresh water?
Pupil : No, Sir. They haven't finished the water I gave them last week.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Mom : Why are you wiping the floor with that cake?
Son : Well, it's a sponge cake, isn't it?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Man : I'm new around here. Will you please direct me to the bank?
Little boy : I will, but only if you pay me ten dollars.
Man : Why should I pay you so much?
Little boy : Because bank directors are always highly paid.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner.
"What are you charged with?" he asked.
"Doing my Christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
"That's no offense," replied the judge.
"How early were you doing this shopping?"
Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.

Went sing with nelson and his gf in Causeway Bay till late in the morning. Something to congratulate myself again, which was that I didn't have hard feeling when singing love songs anymore. Oh, well, I thought about the past though.
I stopped singing in the middle of a song and told them my feeling. They, 2 bastards, ridiculed me saying,

"For sure, yeah right, next time (you sing) it(the hard feeling) will come back!"

Had dinner snake with SL at Park Lane Hotel. Great meeting! Congratulation for me!
Incidentally, met RY at there as well!

While having lunch with Michelle, met KY across the table. What a pleasant surprise! Same old KY, now the CEO of a subsidiary of a giant Japan corp.. Nothing has changed him even a bit. ha ha!
While having dinner snake with SL, met WCL, the lawyer whom I met with little mic. WCL's in fact a friend of SL! What a small world... :p

Had lunch with Michelle yesterday. She said that she'd called carol couple of days ago.

"How's she?"
"The reason I was calling her is to tell her that I am getting married!"

Wa! That's great! She said that she had over 6 of her female friends got married recently. Gosh... year 2001, so-called the TRUE millennium, right? haha!
Congratulation!

....I was thinking what if carol's getting married this year, too.... what's gonna be my reaction?

I'd hardly know.

I just had this rush to write this down after a quick nap...
I suddenly remember the "loving feeling". The loving feeling I am talking about is the mutual loving feeling. Of course, I am referring to the experience I had with carol. The scene was set at Iona beach in Richmond, Canada. I dreamt that I was sitting there alone. carol was not around. I was watching the sunset. The orange sun setting with grace. I felt peaceful. Why?
Imagine that carol (or the one I'd love) loving me... and... I love her, too. Love not only the moment we'd be together but also the feeling of lasting love. The feeling of no matter what'd happen she'd be with you. That's the kind of feeling I dreamt about during my office quick nap. That loving feeling... wooo... I really want to capture it somehow. It's very very familiar feeling. Although it seems remote, but I really just know that "it" was with me. I want "it" back. I really want "it" back. I am passionate about "it".
"Come on... describe "it" more in case you forget, eric...", I silently whispering to myself afraid of scaring it away if my whisper's too loud!
I also remember... I also remember... I also remember... "it" is mine... I didn't share with her. Is real love supposed to be like so? Am I just enjoying myself but neglected her?
I stopped. I have just read what I wrote. I couldn't feel what I supposed to feel when I read the above lines... gosh... so frustrating... damn... I'd been day dreaming during my English literature lessons. :p
anyway... not asking for too much.... will "it" please come back once in a while? :)
Thank you.

I got called from my landlady pushing me to pay rent again. Damn, still haven't got the chance to transfer the $ to her. Well, I'd be moving soon. I am looking for another place to live. Heard that nelson and meiyee been looking for a love nest, too.

I am happy that I got the chance to blog here. Thanks to ukjoe again for referring this special way of webpublishing skill to me. :)
I got some good feed back from friends! Although I talked about some of the more person feelings and issues here, my cyber home seems to belong to another world. It's not part of myself! I am talking about myself like "not talking about myself". Ha!

I want to talk about a drama:
"Kimi to Ita Mirai no Tame ni -- I'll be back" (For the future when I was with you--I'll Be Back)
The following information is taken from another site,

Kimi to Ita Mirai no Tame ni -- I'll be back
(For the future when I was with you--I'll Be Back)

( Sat 9.00 pm.) Domoto Tsuyoshi as a 22 years old, a college senior, who suddenly dies on Dec. 31, 1999 returns to life four years earlier, and, with full memory of his future, attempts to correct past mistakes and realize that previously unaccomplished goals, only to die and be reborn again and again. Though the circumstances are different each time, he encounters people who form a common connecting thread.

• STARRING: Domoto Tsuyoshi (KinKi Kids), Endo Kumiko and more...
  
• THEME SONG: Yamenai de,PURE by KinKi Kids
  
• NETWORK: NTV
  
• DURATION: 10 episodes.(January 16-March 13, 1999)
  
• RECOMMENDATION:From the little of what I saw, it seems to be another NTV crazy drama...not sure if it's about multi-personalities or what.
  

See? The editor of that website doesn't like the drama too much. It's a complicated one. No wonder. Like the drama carol and I and created in school. Fewer people could appreciate. (self-indulging...haha) The leading man is played by Dohmoto Tsuyoshi. I want to be like the leading man. That's it. The way he handles love and relationship is the way I felt most comfortable and I hope I'd be able to find someone who may let me become him. He inspired me of what love really is.

This is a email correspondence with a netfriend of mine:

You asked me to name one person that I respected the most. This is a very tough question since I have certain respect to basically most people around me. They all got something excel in them that I feel I may learn from. Aha! In terms of my career, my dad, my business partner, Tony and some other business associates. In terms of love, my mother, and my first girlfriend, carol, and some other inspirational friends. In terms of female artist, I like, Kim Hee Sun, Sun Yanzi, Zhang Ziyi, and Sophie Marceau. In terms of male artist, I like Jacky Chan, Chow Yun Fat, Sean Connery, and Dohmoto Tsuyoshi.

I walked back to home alone on 14th on Feb 2001. Watching couples passed me, I cursed carol for letting me spending the 2nd Valentine's Day without a lover. Tony said couple of days ago on the phone that this is probably the best time of our life! Remember 3-years ago, on Valentine's Day, Tony, Daniel, and I scratched our heads figuring what to buy and what to do to please our girlfriends. We had our moment of happiness. However, Tony encouraged me saying that we should be happier now since love could be stressful. The stress of what to buy and where to go. Planning is also part of the stress.
What does stress means?
It means that it simply doesn't worth it. We should have (well, to be fair, in the future, we shall) spend our time and be stressful on some other "more important" things such as career and business building. Girlfriends are for companionship and companionship only. Happiness needs no planning. Love shall come when the time is right. And the time shall not be artificial. In another words, no planning's needed.

Hey. I survive the V-Day. Yes. :p
How did I survive the V-Day?
Simple.
TV.
God bless TV.

Getting closer and closer to Valentine's Day now. Went to a Nepel restaurant with Fung & May and their friends. Heard that Lawrence's birthday is on V-Day. He's been out of relationship for quite a few years. Now he's in office still working. I'm now in office checking emails. I haven't touched the noahgrey blogger program for quite some time. I would really like to go back there and get that configured. The not so good things about a non-ASP program like www.blogger.com is that when people like myself slack off a bit then the program would go no where.

I really need to talk to you. I know that you are in love with someone else now. But I still hope that I may occupy a small corner of your heart. I know this is a stupid thought. I can only ask for understanding. I don't expect you to feel the same way or even comply. You're just too good to simply forget. Time did help a bit but the process is painful. It seems silly to tell you that you're too good to forget. But I found no other way to describe the feeling I have. Love seems to be a silly act. But I can only honestly admit that I'm a silly person. Silly enough to still writing this silly message to you.

You may find it at http://www.NoahGrey.com/

ukjoe told me about a new blogging program that's more powerful than what I'm using now. I've installed it myself and for ukjoe as well! It's very good!!!

The Dot Com hype is slowing fading away as the NASDAQ crumbles. Survival means reform. Reform takes determination. Determination might result in sacrifice. Although I��ve been watching late night TV soaps and movies throughout these couple of CNY holidays, I haven��t stop pondered the future direction of my company. Company grows as we grow. The management members react far more mature than we first met one another a year ago.

����.

What��s missing?

Hi! Hi!
Been busy with the Chinese New Year (CNY)!!! I consider I had a great start for the coming year of Snake. True, I am still thinking of carol. I think of carol every second! I miss her like hell (or heaven�� whatever��)! Am I obsessed? :p
Damn�� :p
I am upgrading my notebook to Window 2000. Still processing�� don��t crash�� please�� (silently praying��)��
People have been telling me to watch the movie, ��What Women Want��.
Fung designed a poster for a dance party, ��P.L.U.R�� to be held on 10 Feb 2001.

Well, I met couple of Decade Asia's founding members today. They are unwilling to do the MIT job since the price is too low.
Had lunch with Roger later that day. He's experiencing the same difficult position as Eugene had experienced. The only thing he can do is to fire every staff that doesn't get alone with him!
Called carol couple of times but no answer. Don't know where was she. Hope everything's going well with her now. Emailed her to ask if everything's fine. She seemed to be ok. It's weird that whenever she blogged, she was like blogging to me. On the other hand, whenever I blogged, I blogged to the general public... to "you"... reader.. audience.. whatever you want to call...
carol doesn't read this blog everyday like I do...
get back to work now...
a lots of work... but so little that I can really do... :p

Reminder: Becade Asia is the cable company... not found in altavista web search.

http://www.lovesites.com/

This site is reported from http://www.oneandonlynetwork.com/spotlight/spotlight.htm as follows:

Two years ago, online media planner Brian Rauschenbach along with two other partners launched www.lovesites.com, an entertaining and informative dating directory site. With only one subscription in its first month, the site now consistently registers one sign up per day. The exciting part is that Brian and his partners have been OneandOnly.com Associates for less than a year.

The success of the site, as well as the consistent commissions from OneandOnly.com has resulted in some pretty nice perks. Brian very recently bought a new car and treated his girlfriend with a trip to Reno to see Chris Isaak in concert! Not bad! Keep up the good work, fellas!

VC is no where near for the last couple of weeks since the NASDAQ slash. I'd have to transform myself into a sales. Get revenue. Get jobs for my company.

I need backup!!!

Theman.com closed.
This is the site I read about from the SunMicrosystem's site: Workin' for the TheMan.com
TL send this notice to me...

TL: What a pity.
eric: Simply sad.

Now in office with all the Fung's party people!

Happy New Year Everyone!
Left message to carol. Called #3. #3 said she's watching a show.