I saw 無間道II Infernal Affairs II in a Hongkong style cafe called "Hollywood Steak House" at 8080 Leslie Road 110, Richmond, BC V6X4A8. They have 2 small TVs and a large projection TV. Very boring today. I'd really like to get a car. The freedom of being in control of the destiny is the joy of owning a car. But this physical locale kind of destiny is not something that can really satisfy me. Therefore, I know I cannot really justify the cost of owning a car. The cost of owning a car in a 7-year term would cost me around CAN$800/month. It is not the right thing to own at the moment. I don't really need a car, in other words. What I need is money making opportunity to create residual income for my retirement. There is no way that I am going to retire comfortably with my current monthly income and saving trend. What I also need is investment opportunity to secure my current saving against future inflation.

carol and I were talking on ICQ. She finally came to realize that the Friendster testimonial which I wrote for her was something that she would like to be posted on her Friendster profile. And of course, I have no reason not to oblige to. I am pleasantly delighted that when she said, "u know what? re-reading your [Friendster] testimonial for me, it's actually very accurate. U do know me quite well"
After all, I was not spending valueless hours with someone learning not the person's about.

I have just made a few hundreds HK dollars by selling my China Unicom and BOC stocks. This is the first time I'd ever made money by buying/selling stocks! It is really a lot of fun!

Nostalgia

Mother is sleeping. I'd have to catch the #410 bus at 6:54am. Bye.

My mother's boyfriend, Francis, TL and his wife come over for dinner and movie. They are downstair watching a recent HK movie by Ekin Cheung and Leon Lai.

The following paragraph of Friendster testimonial has just been rejected by carol. Her justification is that it was "a bit too abstract," and she "didn't really get a lot of my vocabulary there and was very lazy to look them up in a dictionary."

Well-favored Carol might be known to habitually practice indifference. But she also cultivates tender, love and care in her heart that is eager to make a difference. She can be one's nepenthe in times of trouble. Slender in recalling of conversational incidence unless it is correlated to some numbers, to which her brain is hard-wired, Carol's seemingly foible turns out to be her asset -- almost nil unpleasant memory is pertained unto her. Having said that, I have never perceived her intelligence be mediocre. Carol loves the mundane world. She also loves spirituality. It may sound oxymoronically absurd. She is simply a piece of designed randomness that thinks and acts contradictorily. Guarded by outward maturity, the innocent beauty lived inside her needs steadfast attentiveness to discover. So, how long your attention spans can hold to discover it?

To be honest, I cannot be as blunt and as upfront writing here as before. SL and carol are aware of this website. Although they both have no interest in reading this website, on the back of my mind, I still cannot help myself but thinking what if one day they'd read.
FL told me on ICQ that she would be coming over to Vancouver in early 2004. I feel happy to hear that. FL used to be a very attractive girl. She was attractive because she was not a decent girl. She skipped classes. She smoked. Back in McNair, when she was still in grade 11, she was among one of the most attractive girls. She is getting older now. She has become mature. She is less attractive, which is good. Why good? The goodness cannot be explained from the mere viewpoint of her appearance. It must be explained in terms of how I personally feel about her approachability. I feel weird. I always feel weird. I always find attractive girls less approachable. No wonder many so-called dating experts claim that attractive females are actually easier to be dated bacause there are more weird men like me than daring ones.

well... as I was typing the last message, she called. And she's on her way here to pick me up, eventually. But I guess I wouldn't be staying with them for too long since I'd need to come back to pack since I'd be leaving for HK tomorrow morning. Goodbye Vancouver. I love you Vancouver! Don't forget me!

carol has arranged a gathering tonight with her cousin Vicky. It was supposed to be a dinner gathering. But she changed it to "having a drink" gathering this afternoon. She later called the changed the time from 8 to 9. And now is almost 10. I am waiting at home for her to come to pick me up. oh... carol... oh... why...

It is simply so amazing that Blogger Pro becomes free! I haven't been blogging for so long and now Blogger is purchased by Google! Woo! That's simply amazing!
I'd be leaving for Hong Kong on 15th and be arriving in Hong Kong on 16th Sept. 2003. :-)
I joined friendster.com just recently. I heard it from FL. FL is working in a gaming company. I bumped into her just before I came back to Vancouver. Well, anyway, I'd be leaving for Hong Kong on 15th Sept. 2003. I'm so looking forward to seeing SL and other friends. SL: I miss you much!

New server location is online now.

Another guy came to our studio today shooting me. I hope that shot may launch me into some role in a production eventually. Acting is definitely something that I am not going to make it into a career though it's definitely something that I am intensely interested in doing.
Little Sin dance not badly at all. She’s the kind of dancer who learned really fast. I had once shown her how Ni dance and she learned so quickly so that she applied those skills on the immediate show.
Blog daily diligently is not something easy. I visited another site yesterday. His writing is good. I cherish his effort. I bumped into the following page accidentally when searching for something else - least expecting - so very touching. Remind me of Roman Chapter 2 when Paul talks about gentile's conscience alluding to Jeremiah Chapter 31: God's law planted in heart.
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2003年3月26日 (星期三) ── 生死有命

今天早上坐地鐵上班的時候，看見一對夫婦在荔景站上車，太太抱著年約七、八歲的女兒。
他們三個人都戴上了口罩。那個太太著緊地為女兒整理女兒的口罩，弄得女兒呱呱大叫喊痛。丈夫則一邊看著都市日報，一邊安撫著女兒。他們這樣緊張為的是預防可能會經空氣傳播而染上的非典型肺炎。
這個病在短短三個星期內影響了整個香港的生活了。
的確，現在街上很多人都戴上口罩，也有很多人都杯弓蛇影，只要有人輕咳幾聲，都似乎會閃身避開。
今天在客人的公司工作，我只是乾咳了幾聲，部門的主管立即探出頭來問道：「誰在咳？」他又打趣地說：「如果你再咳的話，我就要打電話給你老闆，告訴他你雖然表現不錯，只可惜有幾聲咳……」
連我的老爸都走去買了幾個口罩，剛才他遞了兩個給我說：「將它放在公事包裡，有需要的時候拿出來用吧。」
大家都緊張起來了。
可是我覺得沒什麼大不了。
要染病的最終都會染病，要死的最終也要死去，避也避不了。
如果神現在就的要收回我的性命，我沒有反抗的理由。
話說起來，我不是基督教徙或天主教徒，卻深信神的存在。
那個比我們任何一個人類都有能力的人。
當我軟弱無力的時候，我會依賴牠給我勇氣；當我歡喜若狂的時候，我會感激牠給我快樂。
現在，我正需要牠給我無比的勇氣和支持。
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沒有律法的外國人、若依本性去行律法上的事，他們雖沒有律法，自己對自己即是律法。這種人就證顯律法之功用是寫在他們心裏；他們的良知一同作證，他們的思想互相控告為有罪，或者自己辯護為無罪、於上帝審判人隱密事的日子。照我所傳的福音，這審判是藉著耶穌基督而行的。 【羅馬書 第二章 14-16節 呂振中譯本聖經】
耶和華說：“那些日子以後，我與以色列家所立的約乃是這樣：我要將我的律法放在他們裡面，寫在他們心上。我要作他們的　神，他們要作我的子民。 【以賽亞書 第三十一章 33節 和合本】

A guy came to our studio today. He said he was a Key3.net member! I have not been there for a long time. I went there and left a message to a girl called 123suki. Hah! Much fun! :-> By the way, I publish the "Skeptic Review of Trinity" to Key3.net, too. I think no soul shall read it though.

Religion, war linked in history
We should seek God's will with humble heart, shun arrogant power

They pray for divine protection in their quest for earthly retribution:

One asks to be strong enough to kill as many of the Irish and other ``Roman papists'' as possible, the other as many ``natives'' and other Protestant oppressors.

The scene is from the movie Gangs of New York, a riveting account of the struggle by 19th century immigrants to find their place in America as rival ethnic gangs choose sides to control the turf and ultimate destiny of a still-emerging country.

It's not a movie for those with weak stomachs, but filmmaker Martin Scorsese has peeled back layers of 19th century New York to reveal a slice of America that people need to ponder.

All the ugliness of an area of Lower Manhattan called Five Points is laid bare: the prejudice, brutality, racism, political chicanery and immorality.

Competing gangs have one thing in common: an uncompromising belief that God is on their side and that they must and will prevail.

The prayers of their leaders, calling on God for vengeance, are chilling. Sadly, history is rife with such invocations.

The psalmist sings of vengeance on the Edomites for their destruction of Jerusalem: ``Happy shall he be who takes your little ones and dashes them against the rock!'' (Psalm 137:9)

The Quran refers to the battles fought in defense of the faith: ``Then We said: Go you both to the people who rejected Our communications; so We destroyed them with utter destruction.'' (Sura 25:36)

Today, suicide bombers in the Middle East seek what they believe to be divinely sanctioned justice. Israelis, with their understanding of biblical morality undergirding their actions, retaliate with swift and deadly force.

The United States is poised to defend its way of life and to destroy a brutal dictator -- and countless others -- by attacking Iraq. Civil religion will probably be the rallying cry if war comes.

And so it has been and will ever be: religion and war inexorably linked. Prayers reach the heavens imploring God to exact justice, for real or alleged offenses, on one's enemies. And so it goes, day after day, century after century.

In Gangs of New York, it's sobering to see how each leader has defined God in his own image. The Irish-American leader calls on the Archangel Michael, who threw down Satan from heaven, to guide him and his gang of immigrants in battle. He also asks that the Virgin Mary fill his heart with love.

The Nativists' leader, who controls a Protestant anti-immigrant gang, asserts his duty to defend America against the ``invading hordes'' and calls on God to lead the way. His hatred is matched only by his cruelty.

As the fight begins, the city is plunged into four days and nights of rioting: the 1863 Civil War Draft Riots. The violence is no respecter of person, class or ethnic group. Force begets force, death follows death.

Buried deep in the story is the struggle to understand -- and embrace -- tolerance and good will. As the movie points out, what began in the hellish Five Points of New York is still aborning.

Nearly 140 years later, it's our choice: Do we seek life or death? The task is no less difficult in a world that continually slips back into a Five Points mentality.

What should those of us who believe in divine involvement in human affairs be praying for? Certainly not the brutal death of enemies. Nor a deserved victory for a seemingly noble cause. Those prayers have been uttered by untold millions, and the outcome always results in devastation. Instead, we need to regain the simplicity of humble faith, not arrogant power.

On the brink of war, in the midst of uncertainty and fear, when hatred threatens to consume compassion, this should be the prayer of those who look to God for guidance: ``The sacrifice acceptable to God is a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise.'' (Psalm 51:17)

In such an act of humility, we seek less the desires of our own hearts and more the will of the One who desires not the death of anyone.

Following such a path is not an easy way to live, but it is one sure way out of Five Points and, God willing, into a brighter future.

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Tom Schaefer writes about religion and ethics for the Wichita, Kan., Eagle.

The 3 main occurances of the archangel Michael are in Daniel, Jude, and Revelation. 1 Tehssalonians and 2 Peter may allude to Michael. Following texts are quoted from from the New American Standard Bible.


Daniel 10:13
"But the prince of the kingdom of Persia was withstanding me for twenty-one days; then behold, Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, for I had been left there with the kings of Persia.

Daniel 10:21
"However, I will tell you what is inscribed in the writing of truth. Yet there is no one who stands firmly with me against these forces except Michael your prince.

Daniel 12:1
"Now at that time Michael, the great prince who stands guard over the sons of your people, will arise. And there will be a time of distress such as never occurred since there was a nation until that time; and at that time your people, everyone who is found written in the book, will be rescued.

1 Thessalonians 4:16
For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first.

2 Peter 2:11
whereas angels who are greater in might and power do not bring a reviling judgment against them before the Lord.

Jude 9
But Michael the archangel, when he disputed with the devil and argued about the body of Moses, did not dare pronounce against him a railing judgment, but said, "The Lord rebuke you!"

Revelation 12:7
And there was war in heaven, Michael and his angels waging war with the dragon. The dragon and his angels waged war,

But a time is coming, and it is already here! Even now the true worshipers are being led by the Spirit to worship the Father according to the truth. These are the ones the Father is seeking to worship him. (John 4:23 Contemporary English Version)

¹I APPEAL to you therefore, brethren, and beg of you in view of [all] the mercies of God, to make a decisive dedication of your bodies [presenting all your members and faculties] as a living sacrifice, holy (devoted, consecrated) and well pleasing to God, which is your reasonable (rational, intelligent) service and spiritual worship. ²Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you]. (Romans 12:1-2 Amplified Bible)

Spiritual enough already you are as God's worshipers. The truth still needs you to be reasonable and rational.

Does Trinity ever sound reasonable to you? Is it derived from biblical truth? Or you simply have no idea how to answer the previous 2 questions but merely conforming to this world of mainstream Christianity religion - human tradition?
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Where to find truth?
the Law [Jewish Scriptures] embodies all knowledge and all truth (Romans 3:2 New Jerusalem Bible)

Ukjoe's website has been inactive lately. It happens to me when I am with SL. I wonder if Ukjoe is having a relationship with someone so that she is too busy to post. Why am I posting again? Well, I think it is mainly because that I found out that carol is single again. This particular news make me to think more. I desire to blog something which is on my mind. Those things are there because I heard the news. The news generated the things.

SL's sick. I escorted her home. “Girlfriends are more attractive when they are venerable”, I thought to myself. There is little reason to doubt the maturity of one when she demonstrates signs of weakness. I remember carol said something like that before. Intead, it might be a sign of courage to be not afraid to expose one’s weakness. Paul turned his defects into virtues, and his weakness became his strength.

If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness. (2 Cor. 11:30)
Three times I besought the Lord about this [the 'thorn in the flesh'], that it should leave me; but he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' (2 Cor. 12: 8-9)
I will all the more gladly boast of my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions and calamities; for when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Cor. 12: 9-10)

Dear Tutor Yeeman,


Thank you for lending me the book by Bonhoeffer. I greatly appreciate your kind attention to my spiritual growth along with gaining the true knowledge (epignosis, Colossian 2:2). After drinking years of milk, it is also my sincere desire to move on to solid food (Hebrews 5:14). I skimmed the book once when I first got it. My first reaction is that there are too few Scriptures quoted to back up Bonhoeffer’s train of reasoning. But my view has somewhat changed after my revisit to the book. I am simply not the targeted audience.

Now, back to when I have first finishing skimming the book. I, then, move on to other books and online resources. I have reviewed Catholic and mainstream Protestant denominations’ views and arguments on Trinity. Also, I have reviewed a few other Trinitarianisms which theologians self-profess to be Trinitarians but, unfortunately, some of their elements are strongly opposed by Catholic and some more traditional Protestants denominations. Last but not least, I have reviewed some major heretic, antitrinitarian sects’ view of Christ. However, I shall refrain from discussing doctrinal details in this letter for many reasons, which I would also prefer to discuss with you, if God allows, at some other time.

I read the book, “Christ the Center”, again. I would agree with one Amazon’s reviewer:

In his book (lecture), Christ the Center, the great German theologian Dietrich Bonhoeffer seeks to show a Christology that emphasizes a new angle from which to view Christ, while keeping Christ at the center of all consideration and study. For Bonhoeffer, the key to the new understanding of Christ is to change from asking "How" he is what he is to asking "Who" he is. The decisive question is always; Who is Christ? In Mark 8:29 Jesus asks this crucial question to his disciples. The asking the 'who' question rather than the 'how' moves Christ closer to the center. Bonhoeffer's theology radiates from Christ at the center. Christ can be found in the Word (logos), in the sacraments and members of the church, and is also the mediator of all earthly existence and history. Christ is always the center, and the only center. Bonhoeffer's style is very German. I found the book in places to be superfluously worded, a bit erudite, and dogmatic. I felt he used the "proof by repeated assertion" method to make his point. I agree with his suggestion to view Christ from different perspectives, breaking down the barriers that some views might impose. Still, I feel that when all "who" questions are asked, we still come around to needing to ask the "how" questions. It can not be avoided in a post-Enlightenment, scientific thinking world. I feel the need to ask 'how'" the "who" will answer all my question. Maybe it is just the semantics that confused me.

I would suspect that Bonhoeffer’s “proof by repeated assertion” is acceptable to his students since they were probably not unfamiliar with the Churches’ tradition and the scriptural evidence his argument alluding to. I think this book helped me gain understanding how the seminaries choose textbook for their students, to say the least.

Now, I shall turn your attention to let you understand briefly, if not too vaguely, my faith and its impact to the relationship between Shirley and me. As I said earlier, I shall refrain from discussing my faith in details. In short, I have become a Trinitarian skeptic leaning heavily toward dissenting the very doctrine (and a dissenter of a few other minor Churches’ doctrines which have little or no impact upon my religious practice). Note that my faith is not to be misinterpreted as Unitarianism for I may be stereotyped as a believer in some of their more radical doctrines which I have never professed, needless to say asserting.

For the sake of disturbing the least of my treasured relationship with Shirley (and fellow brethern in Philippi), I have wanted to adopt Nicodemism (refer to the attached stapled document). But I failed, miserably. I am too weak at heart to stand the torture against my understanding of the truth, especially when attending the sermons, even fellowshipping. Although I have tried to confess my research and spiritual journey to Shirley, it is only my most optimistic hope that if she may understand just a little of what I was trying to say to her for I was unskilled in speaking (2 Corinthians 11:6*). The dilemma between my hope for Shirley’s conversion and a simple reconciliation of both of our faiths constantly bothers me. It is an infliction upon my spirit if not too fleshly for I have lost much sleep over this matter.

Here I return the book to you. Thank you again for lending it to me, and now, reading my letter. I hope you shall have a pleasant day.

May the grace of the Lord Jesus be with you!

attached: a dissertation of Newton’s Nicodemite styled “heretic” faith
cc: Shirley (email)
* http://www.bible.org/cgi-bin/netbible.pl?book=2co&chapter=11#note_11

Brian and Mimi wedding was held. It was great. It was on Saturday.

yet to avoid immorality every man should have his own wife and every woman her own husband. ... But if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry, since it is better to be married than to be burnt up. ... However, if you do get married, that is not a sin, and it is not sinful for a virgin to enter upon marriage. But such people will have the hardships consequent on human nature, and I would like you to be without that. (1 Corinthians 7:2,9,28 New Jerusalem Bible)

vv. 2, 9: trials of concupiscence [色慾] vv. 28: the upsets of married life

I've been looking for evidence that I was mature enough to have a girlfriend. I found none. I've been looking for evidence that I am ready to get married. I found none. I've been looking for evidence that I have really forgotten carol. I found none.
Although this is all what I would have expected, I hope I were better than that.

[Thou] mightest overcome when thou art judged. (Romans 3:4 KJV)
SL's birthday has just past. I failed her. I failed her expectation. She failed her own expectation that not to have failed. Special day of the year is something that is hard to deal with. Truly I am not a normal person. If I have been normal, I am normal. If only I have been normal. SL and I went shopping for the oven requested by Mimi and Brian for their wedding. We then had the dinner. It was not a pleasant dinner. How could it be pleasant if SL's crying. She was crying... sign... how come my girlfriends always have to cry. The more I love them the more they cry. The more they cry the more uneasy feeling I have. Nothing I can really do about changing the fact that I am a complete asshole. That's basically it. If I would have been a nicer guy then I wouldn't have to deal with the crying issue. I simply cannot stand a woman crying in front of me. It seems to me that I am so weak a man that I cannot even make a simple... well.. complicated.. whatever woman happy. They just have to cry... they always do. So sad... crying is so sad. Why cry when millions of children are starving to death... why cry when we are enjoying the nice air-conditioning shielding from the cold weather outside... why cry... especially on the day that you, yourselves, want to be happy... but it seems so hard... just so hard to make youselves happy on the very day that you are supposed to be happy... sign...

Love cannot be so boldly stated as it was depicted in the movie: “Summer or 27 Missing Kisses”. Hong Kong life has ruined almost every romantic nerve that remains in my body if there should be any left after carol. Or, it is me that might have forgotten what is love and romance. Romancing is something that is not necessarily a must in a relationship which happens in Hong Kong. Hong Kong is a place of pragmatic. Vancouver is a place for romance. Ironically, I do not miss my romance in Vancouver. I treasure it but I do not miss it.

Nothing much I can say about what I am thinking. My mind is empty. Relationship, personal finance, spiritual life, and all seem to be satisfactory. Bible study remains the daily routine that I am consistently doing. If there is anything that I am not doing up to speed, it seems to be the future plan. Should I be doing some planning for my future? Am I prepared to answer some tough questions, such as that when I am heading back to Vancouver?

The discussion of Luke 7:36-50 and Psalms 51:4 between Cos and I has been going on for weeks.

I met this Christian, Cos, through the “Friends of the Nazarene” email list, which is founded by a Unitarian, Mark Miller. Cos is a Trinitarian. He was asked to leave the email group for Cos intend to discuss Trinity. I am a Trinitarian skeptic. I started to have email correspondence discussing what he thought be the biblical proof of Trinity. I even have set up a webpage to continue the discussion with him. During the course of discussion, I have gained more understanding why people believe in Trinity. I feel that this doctrine of the mainstream Christianity has been the most if not totally disturbing doctrine. I have a hard time dealing with. The argument or so-called proof behind the doctrine hasn’t been satisfactory.

I was somehow emotionally disturbed by the argument that Cos was offering. I reflected for days and nights because I was disturbed. I was warned by Cos that it was the reluctance to believe Trinity being the truth disturbed me. However, I could not agree after some soul search. After some more reasoning on papers, I found that it is his circular reasoning that has caused the problem. His argument is spurious.

It is lame to comment as such that [carol] is still well alive in my mind. What is the use? Am I just eager to please myself that I am a good lover that I could love so long that even after some years have past that I am still having that feeling for someone? Thinking of this makes me worry about if I was being boastful of myself. The very thought of carol is a distant past. The happy memory lingers. The sentiment caused by arguments and the sometimes intolerance of each other’s characters still contribute to my refraining from the notion of reconciliation. I consider this is good. Not necessarily a good way of dealing with my past, but as least this thought of mind does the job of holding me back from having any action towards pursuing carol. She is not suitable for me.

Well... well... well... SL and I are still together. Time flies. Time flies like an arrow. I am still with SL. Do I miss carol? Yes, I thought about her often. Indeed, she is definitely someone I can't simply put out of my system. She is still well alive in my mind. More be told. Anyhow, I am excited about the up-and-running again of my blogging! Woo!!

This website is up and running again!!! I am thrilled! I fixed the blogging template bug!