SL: i felt thankful for the time we had together. but now, all i can think of is the possible separation we are going to face when i leave hong kong. the unpleasant feeling you have is only going to escalate after i leave. furthermore, i find no good way out of the unstable state i am in. i love who i am more than i love you. i hate the the notion of changing myself for you. i hate the notion of dropping my original plan for someone like you. maybe it is because i have not love you much enough. maybe it is my arrogant being. maybe i am too idealistic. maybe i am too demanding. maybe i am just an idiot. i have no confidence in you that you are going to accept my kind of mental state in the foreseeable future. i foretell that you are going to leave me for who i really am. painful as it can be for we are so happy together, i am going to kindly ask you to leave me now if you may. i know it may not be easy but it is better than dragging on and on and have further discussion about this topic. i am still mentally too young for committing the kind of relationship or marriage that you hope to have. we do not have the same vision for marriage. i was trying to convince you this morning. i was trying to convert your vision to mine. i hated myself when i find out later that i had done that. it was not good. i hated myself. it was a dangerous act. it was a dangerous relationship we are in. it is a even more dangerous relationship to continue consider the age you are now. i can certainly tell from this morning's conversation that you are no difference from all the other girlfriends that i have dated before in terms of the vision of marriage. i was hopping that you were heaven sent and you were different. but after all, simply you are not. you are just as normal and as simple as all the others. i should have known better. i felt sorry that i have mislead myself, and in turn, have mislead you that our relationship may work fine. i am afraid. i am very afraid. i am not going to risk breaking my self-esteem to be with you any longer and to be eventually dumped by you. women are cool-blooded relationship killer when they could see no joyful future. i would have thought that you are no ordinary girl, but i was wrong. i was very wrong. i am going to remind myself everyday ever after that every women are as ordinary as they can be and they all want the same kind of ordinary men as their husbands or as their life companions. i am no extraordinary man but i am certainly not one of those ordinary men who practice ordinary life. and i have no plan to become one any time soon. therefore, i will not have any further date or relationship until i am sure i may become one of those ordinary men. sorry that i have started our relationship in the first place. sorry for everything. sorry. i treasure you. i treasure you as hard as i can. i hate to break your heart. i hope you may read carefully of what i have written and consider this a peaceful separation that may eventually benefit us both. i hate to break my own heart, too. therefore, rather than letting you breaking my heart one day suddenly later, i would rather break my own heart when i am fully prepared. i mean now. my heart is broken and is shattered. i will find my own way to glue it back. --eric

Little mic is everywhere.

The SWJ business seems going okay. Macau SIA project seems having lots of trouble. Collection of the last 2 payment seems at stake. TL got the deal from Japan. Got this news yesterday. Went to a great concert organized by Hong Kong Association of Christian Music Ministry Ltd. (ACM) with SL. Our relationship seems going okay. I have my doubt if she's the one for good. Yeah... I had my doubt. But do I still have the doubt? I do. I do. I am not sure how long this relationship may last. Father has come to stay with me for a few days. He found the SWJ highly intriguing.

I wonder how long shall my relationship with SL will last. The fire is burning for sure. But how long will it burn? Ohm... I am happy though I am not sure. I am satisfied though I am not certain. Oddly, I consider this a very good feeling. Happy but somehow not afraid to lose. However, from time to time, I get afraid of losing her. well well well... I need to get some more rest since my working hours now are not normal at all.

Today is a suitable time to blog. Today is carol's birthday. 7 July is her birthday. I am writing here to commemorate the several birthday I spend with carol. I have forgotten most, well... as a matter of fact, all of the things that carol and I did together on her birthday. I attended Andrew's wedding ceremony with Shirley today with other b/s in Christ. Andrew is a brother in Christ who has acted as a mentor to our fellowship. He is leaving for Malaysia with his wife. I heard he is going to live there for good and to spread the gospel there on behalf of Alliance Church. Shirley and I have been dated for over 2 months now. I am getting a bit of a hiccup myself after 3 things:

1. I saw Minority Report alone on 4th of July. When I was on the phone with Shirley that night, she showed some sentiment regarding that I had not watched that movie with her. Oddly enough, I felt a little guilty about it, too. This is probably the first thing that triggered my series of reflection.

2. I was talking to mother on the phone yesterday and she told me about TL's new gf spending her vacation in Vancouver this week. TL's new gf was considering about moving to Vancouver to stay with TL. TL is a 30+ guy. His gf, too. They are considering things probably a little bit differently from my age group of people, which is around 25-30. I do not know how I felt about this all yet. But I felt there is something on my mind that I do not know how to express it yet. It is something... well... in short, this is the 2nd thing that trigged my series of reflection.

3. Last but not least, it is carol's birthday. I knew it was coming. I knew it was coming when I was celebrating my birthday on 26 June last month with Shirley on Hong Kong Gold Coast Hotel. We spend 2 days there to enjoy the summer heat and the coastal beach. It was damn hot those 2 days! Sunshine was great though. That's probably a long drag for me to experience the almost 2 long weeks of the period between my birthday and carol's birthday. From 26 June to 7 July, I kept suppressing any thought that would make me less than happy. I loved Shirley and I loved her. I loved her and that's the end of it. Or is it the end of it? Or do I still have to deal with my past? Am I the kind of the person that is so fucking sick that even simple questions as these I could not answer myself with a quick and clean response? Well, I think to myself now that I am exactly the kind of fucking sick person! I am sick. Oh... fuck.

Okay, now. The thing about carol is a blur mix of happy and sad memories. I didn't even remember what I was supposed to remember. The memory was fading fast throughout the last half a year. You know anything about half-life? It was supposed to be some chemistry stuff, right? Well, my memory about carol is like half-life stuff. Fading real quickly. I would have guessed that the memory of carol has pasted the half-life point so that it was fading really quickly. To certain point I thought it was gone with the fucking wind. But what now... see what I am sitting here writing what after almost a month of writing and blogging nothing for I was too happy enjoying my little honeymoon relationship with Shirley. Damn... I am definitely a sick fucking bastard. Damn myself.

I think I need to do some praying. I do not have the humble heart to seek help from above yet, you know? That is really bad, I know. I know I am not trying to seek help yet. Blogging is a yell for help for sure but it is only a yell for me only. No one else even God can help me if I don't ask for help. What am I thinking, anyway? I know I am not in a good mood. Not a good mood at all.

The best thing about having an extra monitor for myself is that I don't have to access the w2k server using PC Anywhere no more. Thanks to Lawrence who shipped that monitor to me. And thanks to Nelson who drove me to a nearby places to let me ride a taxi back home. Cost me HK$15 + $5 (luggage) = $20.00.

Bumped into Landry today at Sham Shui Po (深水埗) MTR station in the afternoon. Since he's a close friend of Shirley, and for the reason that I had had a deep conversation with him once, I told him about my dating relationship with Shirley. At night, dating with Shirley at Causeway Bay, I bumped into Gloria Kwan of DSC. As a matter of fact, I forgot her name. She's a charming lady. We exchanged phone number and she said that I might call her tomorrow to catch up.
Relationship with Shirley is like a shiny summer day with warm ocean breeze. I have no complaint at all. Hope this may last. I pray that this may last. I am happy. I am really happy. Simply, I am happy.

Amazing! I have been going out with Shirley for just one month (30 days)! It's an amazing feeling! I don't know how to describe it but it's truly amazing! I had dinner with her tonight. One glitch tonight. A very serious glitch by the way was that I said, "I love Ca...." in front of her face when I had meant to say was "I love Shirley". She told me bluntly that she knew what I wanted to said was "I love Carol". Damn... I told her that Carol had become an adjective. carol shall be an adjective for "seriously/madly/crazily in love" kind of meaning. The person, Carol, holds no value to me no more. She's gone. She's only a happy memory in my mind that lingers on. I wrote an email to Shirley tonight.


To Shirley,

(cc: God)

I love you. I love you. I don't know why I love you so much! I am crazy!

Help me God, My dear God! Help me and prevent me from going crazy! I am just loving Shirley! I don't want to become crazy for I have to love her for the rest of my life. If I ever become crazy, how can I protect and take care of her for the rest of my life?!?!?! Therefore, my dear God, please, if you are granting me to Shirley, please prevent me from going crazy for loving Shirley!!! AHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! I can't breath arHHHHhhhhhhhhhH!

I love you ar! (I meant Shirley, of course!)

I love you, too, of course, My dear God, but I have to love Shirley first before I can love You, you know, since this seems to be how you want this to be, right, uh? My God, my God, how wonderful You are giving me this lovely Shirley, wonderful Shirley, and lovable Shirley! She's as adorable as You, my dear God! Pardon me, my Dear God, for I had made such inappropriate comparison! This is just one way of loving Shirley. The admirable way to love Shirley is one of the best. And there are many other BEST way to love Shirley, too! Tenderly Love, Passionately Love (Yeah Baby, Yeah.....!!!), "Beat Karen" Kind of Love (I like it, Wooooo!), Attentively Love, Patiently Love... (cannot be patient anymore... for I am on Fire with Shirley!!!), Crazily In Love.... Crazily in Love is the exact state I am in now for even Shirley's not around me, I am thinking only one person and that person is no other but Shirley, my beloved Girlfriend, Soulmate, Idol, Lover, Sister, Goddess (sorry... I know I shall have no other god before you, my Lord, but may Shirley be an exception, uh?!?!?!?... well.... well.... just don't send me to Hell, okay??!?!, since I am "ON FIRE" enough that I am afraid that Your HELL FIRE won't make me any much more pain no more!!! Hah Hah....hahahah...) I love Shirley, too, 3, 4 , 5, 6, 7, till the End Chapter of Day!!! And it's going to be 10-Thousand years for I love Shirley sooooooooo much that I never ever will never going to "Un" Love her! Pray to you, my Lord, to prevent me from "Un" Loving Shirley, for I shall be incapable to Love others if I don't Love Shirley. This is probably a serious threat to you, my Lord, I know since you are a Loving God and if your citizen (Me) are incapable to Love, then you must be angry and you must be mad! I know that you don't want Yourself to become as crazy as me, do You? So I wish You and I pray to You that please please please please please please please (x10000 times) that I will be forever in Love with the Only woman in my Love forever, and this woman shall be no other woman but Shirley, my girl, okay? (Be aware that this is certainly not a question but a serious prayer. ) You know you kinda promise in Your Bible that You DO answer ALL prayers, didn't You, UH? So you better Keep Your promise and make me, help me, propel me, drive me, (whatever me), to Love Shirley, my dear loving lady, to the rest of my life and till the end of day!!!

Derek was another fellowship member that has been pursuing SL. At today's prayer meeting, we finally meet. I thought it was going to be embarrassing. Why? Well, well, well�K it's probably my fault. I have had dinner with Derek once when I was still only friend with SL. Derek told me about his crush for her. I comforted him and shared with him my "still wanna be single for a few more years" idea of mine... darn... It was so embarrassing for me to slap my own face so fast!

It's just the perfect moment that SHOUTcast's M O S T L Y - C L A S S I C A L Channel played the Beethoven's Mondschein Sonate (Moonlight Sonata) when I am emotionally devastated at the least expected moment. I met SL today for dinner. I started to talk about marriage. Yeah... I talked about it again. Why I always talked about it? God knows why! I don't have a clue why I want to get married this early. The reason I was devastated is because SL has not yet built up the courage to marry to me. I thought it would be easier than that. I expected wrong. Yeah... I was having expectation. I didn't even realize when I was talking about the marriage thing until she reacted with less than positive response. I hate myself talking about this. The feeling of making a wrong move pissed me off. The feeling of out of control made me mad. The feeling of expecting the unexpected frightened me. The "down" emotion lingers. I am glad that when I was finally home, the Internet radio is airing the Moonlight Sonata, my favourite "down" time music. It meditates my feeling. It transcends my emotion. I am feeling a bit better now. SL suggested that we pray together. I refused. I was not ready to face God. I was too ashamed to face God. I need some time along to face my problem first before I can face God.
The silver curtains are installed today. The sound equipment is perfect. SL came to my home today after work before we went out for dinner. I played her some of my favourite music pieces. I told her that my mother liked George Michael. I played her the Last Christmas. Yeah... I shall listen to this piece of music again now...

Last Christmas
I gave you my heart
But the very next day you gave it away
This year
To save me from tears
I'll give it to someone special

This sounds right. I was too eager to give my heart to someone. Maybe just anyone. I thought the someone was carol, I thought the someone was #3, and now I thought the someone was SL. There were too much "Last Christmas" for me to deal with as cheerfully as in the lyric of the song may manage. I am not sure how I may face SL tomorrow. I don't know how I may face God. I was thinking I shall call Maggie or Andrew or Brian to talk it over. I was just thinking anyway. The feeling of weakness exposure made me even weaker. I dare not to speak to anyone at this moment, even to God. I've been out of this self-conscious "thing" for don't even remember how long! And it's coming back to haunt me! There's a word for my feeling - scary.

Something's quite amazing happen these days. My heart turned soft. My spirit is high. I am starting to feel like loving someone. And probably to be loved back. Luckily that I have SL to be with me. She's around. She's with me. She's available. She's my girlfriend now. People say that marriage is a random act. One gets married just because when he or her is ready to get married, and just so happen that the one around he or her is ready, too. So that they get married! I am starting to feel like this is going to happen to SL and me. I liked talking to her. I like to hear what she has to say about things. I like the conversation I had with her. Some say when people grow older, they'd appreciate casual chat more since that's probably the only available entertainment when physical fitness is unable to catch up. Chat, the mouth and brain exercise, is probably the best, the cheapest, and the most readily available entertainment around by then.

I have been lucky in a sense that whatever thing I want will come true if I'd dreamt for it long enough. I wanted to become a better boyfriend after some unsuccessful relationships. Some qualities, which I wasn't being able to attain, such as sensitivity, become attainable. SL's friend, Kitty, told SL once that she found me a sensitive person. One other quality is that to offer a sense of security to my girlfriend. SL commented that she felt secure with me. I was happy to hear such compliment. I felt I may finally become someone that I've wanted to become! I have never expected girl like SL would become my girlfriend. She reminded me of Nelson's girlfriend, Meiyee. Yes, now SL becomes my girlfriend. On Sunday night, we saw Spider-Man (Yahoo! / RottenTomatoes). It was a great movie. We dined at Dan Ryan's Chicago Grill at Pacific Place, Admiralty. The dinner's great. And what's the most great above all is that it was another romantic and joyful evening! My heart surely beat faster whenever SL's eye moved, blinked, frowned, or even just wondered around for no reason at all! Momentarily, I would find her exceptionally attractive in a way that I would never have expected. We talked about marriage. I was not afraid to marry her. I found her perfect. I talked about the love I had for her. I talked about how I enjoyed the way that I loved her. Nothing seems wrong except that I found myself felt deeply in love with her during that Sunday night. That beautiful Sunday night. A magical night. Nothing's impossible that night. Future is now. And future is right in front of me. In fact, the "future" seemed to be sitting just right across the dinning table sweetly smiling to me! I knew things happened with reasons. I used to think that I figured all out and I had analyzed all. I knew nothing about love until that Sunday night when I gave up analyzing, gave up thinking about the unknown future, gave up the unconscious relationship rating scheme, and gave all to God. Dropped my pride and hopefully God may listen.

Just now, I am on the phone with SL, she has just said the first "I like you very much!" to me.

Met SL's secondary school (Belilios Public School 庇理羅士女子中學) friends yesterday night for drink.

Relationship of SL and I have been going quickly. I would think that it's largely because of the subtle arrangement from God. When the timing's right, everything's going so well that I can hardly believe it's happening for real. I believe we had the first "wet kiss" today. She's a righteous Christian that she refused to have further physical relationship (fornication) until marriage. From what I learnt, if the girl's still a virgin, let her be. Try not to play smart by initiating premarital sex for I am sure I will regret it later. Girls never get over the hatred of the guys who give them the 1st premarital sex.
Incidentally, I found quite a few similarities between carol and SL. They are both emotional persons. They get sentimental easily. They both use BIOTHERM and Neutrogena. Anyway, it's romantically incorrect for me to compare for this might not be fair and probably were unpleasant for SL to hear all these "things about carol". But fortunately, she was a good listener and was indifference with what I said (at least from how she reacted).
She was attending Jazz dancing classes. Her classmates invited her to go to one talent competition show. We went to watch it today. It was fun. It reminded me of all the happy, sad, struggling (if I shall pursue more of the artistic careers instead of doing what I am doing) memory of the past, such as actively participating extracurricular activities when I was still in the university. I told her about most of what I could remember and what I really thought. She was listening. I found her attractive in a way that I never did found in other girls.
We bummed into many friends today, including MKF's friends - Pal and his gf, Daniel's friend - Jennifer, and Philippi's member - Mike. And the last but not least, we bummed into Hin Shen and Jenny Chan of Philippi on the ferry trip back to Central from Tsim Sha Tsui. They are dating, too! We were actually the first to find out! We approached them. They were shocked that we were there! We chatted and found out that we, both, just started our relationships. They are anxious, too! We made plan to have buffet together, sort of a double dates kind of things.

I bought a J's ring to SL. The 2nd time in my life I bought someone a ring (the first one is a proposal ring to carol). I gave it to her yesterday. I read her a speech to express my affection to her. She was quite upset about what I said initially since I did not "love" her in the way she thought I was. I admitted that I like her a lot but it's not the kind of romantic "love". SL has a cute face. I thought she would have been younger than me. Unfortunately, yesterday, during the dinner, I found out that she's actually a year older than I. Even 4 months older than carol! Damn... I told her on the spot that I've tried very hard to avoid seeing someone who is older than me. She seems alright even after hearing what I said. Maybe she's confident in her younger looking appearance. Cousin Wei Wei is pregnant for eight and a half month and she's going back to the State with her husband, my cousin-in-law, Benjamin, for good. I spend some time with them for the past 2 days. SL, and I went to Wong Dai Sin with them. Wei Wei found SL moderately cute. In my opinion, I haven't been able to judge since "love" was not the word I would use to describe the relationship between SL and I yet. However, she's, so far, the most sincere female friend I have ever known.

4 TKPC (Hong Kong Secondary School) friends came to Macau. They stayed at my place for a night yesterday. One of them went to saw a Jananese movie, Water Boys, with me at a local theater. Cost MOP$30.00. It's a very good movie.

Got CTM SC's fax. Got to find Dio to talk this project over. aaron and CT are both going to be out of HK this week.

Today, I was supposed to go to Hong Kong to meet CT, and aaron. However, since CT's only available during lunch, I suggested we'd meet tomorrow instead.

Spent 24 hours idling at home sleeping and watching China's Sun TV. Ate cereal with orange juice. Now I am feeling that I've overslept causing some headache...

AA's LH is here talking with KC. I am not sure if things will work out as planned. However, since I don't see myself fitting into the "fix" things picture, I am focusing more of my energy in planning the WJ business now. Afterall, To and aaron has put much hope into this project. Google has a new marketing tools available now! I am going to use it! It's called "Adwords"

The many days has past but there's still no response from the tenders. The NMS one and the Monetary one. I really cannot do nothing but wait. Watched all the movies in the theatres already. Careless to record them all here! Has downloaded a software called Tweaki. Helped me a lot in configuring my Win2k laptop. It's running a lot better now. I spent the last Thursday evening at Glenda's home. We chatted a lot of things. She's at the a very similar state of mind in terms of relationship. But the difference is, of course, she's with a official boyfriend but I am as single as I can get! I stopped looking for one girlfriend. I stopped. Really stopped. I am really glad.

nothing happening today. quiet. quiet quiet. no direction. no target. wanting to meet shirley tomorrow for dinner but haven't confirmed. have to mail the photos to christine. have to call CT to confirm tomorrow's meeting... have to wire the money to lycos.com.cn...

My father came to visit me in Macau during the weekend after my grandmother's birthday dinner. We somehow started a discussion about finding our root. My grandfather (father's father) passed away few years ago. He didn't kept much record of the past, neither did my father.
Creating family tree needs persistence. My father and I felt a sense of urgency for this task since we have been the eldest sons in our Lam's family for 3 generations and we have no clue about our past!

The V-Day has pasted. I spent some fun time with Shirley, Kitty (shirley's friend), Winnie L, Winnie S, and ukJoe and Alex (joe's friend) in Macau. They spend the night of V-Day in Macau at my apartment.
Went to Grandmother's birthday dinner at Regal Seafood Restaurant in the Regal Kowloon Hotel. Mr. Ho and his 2nd wife along with his 2-year old son and parents-in-law were there. Father came back to Macau with me and spend last night at my apartment. I am spending this weekend with him.

This is a small message to all after reading ukjoe's new blog speaking about the coming V-Day!

Still single myself! Yeah! And not-so yeah about... my attitude changed. My heart changed. My preference changed. Many things changed. I felt nothing about the coming V-Day. I felt nothing! Well, well... to be very honest, I am dying to meet the girls I was flirting online for some time. They looked gorgeous in photos! They sounds reasonable in email and on the phone! They are Goooooooooood in my little conjured fantasies.

But... this is always the but...

Come on... it's the V-Day coming! I need my space here to keep my fantasies, okay? Don't lose it, eric... don't lose it! Hah!

Damn ukjoe! If I haven't read her blog, I wouldn't have felt like writing these non-sense!

I read some of the blog I wrote backed in 2000 while #3 was still active in my mind. I felt quite remote. I felt dizzy.

Shirley, Kitty (shirley's friend), Winnie Lo, Winnie Shum, and probably ukjoe is also coming to visit me in Macau! However, ukjoe was unable to reserve the TurboJet ticket. I was on ICQ with her exploring the possibility we got. No conclusion anyway. Shirley was having a bit of coordination headache since 2 Winnies were joining suddenly! Hope everything went well with them! I am just a lazy bone lying here in Macau doing nothing, thinking nothing, and waiting for someone to come over to entertain me! Hah!

Well... to be fair... we'd all to have fun together! Yeah!

Met cousin Weiwei and her 5-month old baby as she is pregnant for 5 months now. Her husband, Gum, invited father and I to lunch with them. Later on, I went for my cousin Leyley's dinner along with her husband, and families of them both. I ate snake blood the first time! Yuk! ;-p

I am at my father's place in Panyu, a city near Guangzhou. I will be meeting cousin Weiwei tomorrow. She's married now of course and is carrying a baby with her. And tomorrow night, I would be meeting Cousin Leyley and her family. It's very quite neigborhood here in Panyu. So quite that I am having a bit of a ear humming... :-p

Saw Ocean's Eleven. I always like story about thief. It was just the story I expect and like.

To everyone: Have a great CNY!

I attended again another high school's friend wedding! the 4th high school friend got married... and he's among the 9th of my friend's wedding in these 2 years or so. Too many weddings! I couldn't stand it! The pressure's too much! We are all getting old!
After the wedding's over, we all got quite "high", so we went to a bar to have a drink and chit-chat about nothing! The "83% attractive" hostess got me a cup of Hennessy Purewhite. It was too sweet at first taste. After the ice cube melted, it tasted just right!
Schoolmates of Tang King Po College (TKPC) were such frantic freaks that they complained the choices of the dishes throughout the dinner!
"Too many vegetable dishes, the groom must make huge bucks over this wedding dinner for each one of us still have to contribute $500.00!"
"It's restaurant wedding instead of a hotel one... so cheap!"
"The groom was not serving us good enough since he had not come to our table to greet us!"
"Cheap wine... it's dated only last year!"
Blah... blah... blah....

I dare not to invite my "dear" TKPC schoolmates to my wedding if I ever get married!

Talked to father. Going to visit Guangzhou on Chinese New Year Eve. Planning to visit both of my happily married cousins!

Just came back from the main entrance of my office building. Met EH, the graphic/web designer. It's always like that... first time meeting someone. I found myself judging people. I found myself judging by appearance. darn...(I hate myself thinking that way but I couldn't help it most of the time.) My observation was: he hasn't shaved for the last 24 hours.

Lunched at the Macau Tower's 360° Café with MS people the first time, along with KC and DW. Lunch buffet for MOP$100.00. MS is going to release an open tender. I am going to work on it. Hope everything works out fine.

I am writing at this hour because I suddenly remember a friend said in the email that she was not exactly in a good mood for the weather's not fine. I thought to myself: "True... true... this often be the case when it comes to the correlation between mood and the weather."
Oddly enough, now, my head's full of unhappy thoughts, and I worried a lot of things, such as tenders, what I said to the clients, unfinished tasks, carol... blah... blah...
For a moment I wondered why since it's late at night now and I don't see how the weather may do it's trick. Then suddenly I realize that I haven't been eating for 8 hours! And I was on the phone for too long! One call after another... darn... I forgot my meal!

Sugar level affect my mood!
A brave new discovery! Aaaa haH!

well... got to leave for my supper...

I've contacted uMovie.net's people expressing my interest in partnering with them to make Micheal's movie. I haven't been in touch with Michael for a while since he's busy with his job as both actor and "Ah 4" for Fruit Chan's movies. I had lunch with Greg, his company's legal counsellor from Australia, KC, Pedro Leal (a lawyer friend of Danny), Tony Chan (a guy worked in PL's office), and another PL's lady staff (no name card... forgot name...;-p).

I am so anxious to hear from the NM project. Nothing's clear yet. No decision has been made yet. They said management was still reviewing the evaluation. I cannot wait to hear some good news! I cannot wait to hear bad news, either, for I may have to prepare some other plans for my company.

I called TC today. We talked over the roadmap of venturing into the Web-J business. A week from now, we'd talk more to see if sufficient capital be raised. In the mean time, I can still dream my dream on Excel spreadsheet! The money is just around the corner for me to collect! Hah!

I saw Vincent van Gogh's documentary on TV few days back. I had knew the artist by his fame only until I watched the documentary. He greatly reminded me of Norman. I've had lost Norman's contact.

Had gathering with primary school's friends weeks ago. Bad experience... Again... don't even want to talk about it... damn...

Ching sent me this website: http://www.umovie.net/. It's really cute! I appreciate their effort very much! It's done a bunch of university students. They makes amature short movies and then get published on the net.
Still in Macau. Chinese New Year is coming now. ICQ with Gilbert today. ICQ with carol today: 2 lines.

Yeah! Hah! (so excited...)

"Idiot!"

........

I am not sure what do I have to say about the New Year. Many things happened. I am planning to write some story based on my past experience. I started to record my past events in point form and to interpret their impact to my life.
Romantic relationship portion of my life is completely empty at this moment. I am living in Macau now. I am seeking God's help. I am treating Him as my lifetime boss. I hope I would be somehow guided instead of having my own direction walked every time I come across an intersection.
I bought the Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English. I prefer Longman to Oxford for it has more words and more plain explanation.
chameleon: 1. a smalll lizard that can its colour to match its surroundings 2. someone who changes their behaviour, ideas, etc., to suit the suituation