Annie said she's going to come to the TV filming tomorrow with another friend.

The best available server scripting tool now is PHP4.

So busy...

Just got an email from a netfriend (Maggie is a name I made up, cuz' I don't feel like publishing her real name) who saw my posting at some friend's connection site:

Maggie wrote:

****************************************
hi,ERic

I sent an email to you yesterday, but I didn't say more about me without enough time.
I'm wondering whether you know Maggie is blue blue cat. I'm so happy to know you,for I feel we're alike in many aspects.
I'm not a shanghaiese.My hometown is WuXi(Do you know WuXi,it's a beautiful and exquisite city).About two monthes ago,I graduated from WuXi University of Light Industry,and came to shanghai.I like shanghai.It's a modern and open big city with more chances.Moreover there are full of pressure and chanlleges,eapecially for those who come from the other city.But,all of this I like.Life will be variegated and colorful in continous chanllege.
I'm an enthusiastic and easy-going girl,and favorite in many things,eapecially sports and music.Exercises make me full of vigor while music let me relaxed.It's an excellent thing to go swimming,climbing and having a picnic with friends.I also like reading.In my opinion,it's not enough for a female to have only a good-looking.While reading brings her thought and make her avoid superficial.(What's your opinion?)
I admire you that you've already had your own business in such a young age.I like your initiative.If there is a chance,I'd like to learn from you.

Looking forward to receive your email.

Maggie
****************************************

I replied:

****************************************
Dear Maggie,

I really appreciate your email. Let me answer your question straight forwardly. I'm a very superficial man.

Period.

I could appreciate good-looking appearance more than I could appreciate what's "INSIDE" a person. I know this is not generally considered to be right - politically incorrect. However, as you're being so sincere, I cannot help myself but being honest to you:

I AM A SUPERFICIAL MAN!

My achievement is nothing. My achievement/appearance is used to seduce superficial women who appreciate men's achievement/career/salary/appearance rather than their genuine souls.

I like superficial women since only they know what makes me ( a superficial man ) happy.

See?

Hope you understand what a superficial man I am.

I don't know if you'd still like to be friends with me after telling you what I'm really like. Hope I can still hear from you again. Maybe I'm interested in knowing how you'd react to this reply. :p

Warmest Regard,

--
ERic
****************************************

Yesterday night was a crazy night. I took a taxi to a far away place to meet a netfriend. I stayed over night at her school's guest house. Woo!!!

Ha!

We are going to use PHP4 to develop our product with Zend engine. Hope we can get the final version roll out soon...

Lucky me!!!

I'm going to attend the TV recording session the coming Fri.. The Creator asked me to write things like myself, my ideal lover, and some questions for reference and fax them to him before Monday. So... while I was wondering how should I write it, Jenny called and I invited her to bought dinner and brought the food to my home (Big Mic's home). Poor Jenny, she wanted to see me so badly. She ate at home already, so she watched me eat.

After dinner... nothing to do... so... naturally... she helped me drafted and wrote the script for the coming Fri. So now my assignment for the TV show is done.

Ha!

Wasn't able to publish for 10 hours...could not get up to blogger.com... don't know if it's the problem of the connection or it's because of blogger.com's server down...

Well, any way... here we go the message here that is supposed to be up yesterday:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I feel happy every time I see Carol's message. Knowing Carol's alive makes me happy. What did I say? Ha Ha.

Well. After seeing quite a number of netfriends. I am not interested to talk everyone of them here again. I am getting used to meet netfriends. Just like meeting clients. Getting used to it. No excitement. Just plain, flat, and time-killing gathering. But I like doing it as my routine anyway!
Met one today. Her name is Annie. She is like the old Carol in many ways. We talked a lot about our vision for our future. She talked about her boyfriend. The way his boyfriend treating her is a lot like the way I was treating Carol in the old days. The way was like:

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Carol: ERic, you know I would like to do this, this, that, and that... I don't know what I should really do.
ERic: No matter what you do, I'd support you. Do whatever you like the most.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Ha Ha.

Annie's boyfriend is saying these kinds of BS to her just like the old me. These words comfort her and made Annie feel goooooood! I told her that her boyfriend was really smart in knowing what she really need to hear. She reminded me of the old Carol. I really like chatting with Annie. ;)

I have 2 female friends who both been worked as professional models. They got the look. One is living in my home town, and one in Shanghai. They both like me and intend to develop romantic relationship with me. I like them, too, but not romantically. Too bad! Unlucky Me...

I think I attract girls who has worked as models. Maybe the feminine look of my appearance... haha... I don't know...

Elva's so hot now. She is getting hotter and hotter everyday... I'm seeing a lot of her MTVs on Channel V. Her big time Taiwan concert is going to be held on 28/8... Carol: remember this date??? lol... well, this is the day u and me and daniel had our Fashion Show Dance Party held couple of years back, right? Elva was one of our catwalk models! Surprise! Surprise! The very first time I'm sensitive to date! I surprise myself!!! Seeing her being successful making me happy. Really. A person realizing one's dream... the feeling of getting closer and closer to one's dream... Ha Ha... Hope I'm getting closer and closer to my IPO dream... a successful IPO of course...

What the fuck was I doing...
An ICQ message log happened a while ago...
I was emotionally charged... hasn't happened for while...
As I saw Carol online:

ERic 8/24/00 1:24 PM I'm going to be on a TV show in Shanghai as a guest next Friday. I'm feeling so lucky appearing on TV everywhere I goes!!! hahaha

ERic 8/24/00 1:28 PM I've updated the look of ericarol.com bor. feel free to take a look bor.

ERic 8/24/00 1:44 PM damn. You're like this every time. Late reply or no reply. phone or icq. I don't like this. I don't like you. You always make me unhappy. fuck. you're worse than friend now.

ERic 8/24/00 1:47 PM I'm like the old me. nothing had changed. I hate you from the start. Carol, you made me sick. You always made me sick.

ERic 8/24/00 1:50 PM I really want to talk to you ga. really. I could not forget. My love became hate. Hate... what's hate?

ERic 8/24/00 1:51 PM enough bull shit ... better getting back to work now... you might not even reading what I'm saying now... ha... stupid jurk myself....

carol 8/24/00 1:53 PM sorry, i should've switched my status to "occupied"

Not-so-good mood today. Had an unpleasant evening with Jane yesterday. I'm not going to see her again. In fact, I don't really like her anymore. She's too demanding.
Business as usual; however, kinda feeling some pressure today. Cash flow pressure. Sign...
Don't give up. Be COOL!!! ERic, be Cool!!!

leave la...
bibi
.6_^.

Spend the evening with Lin yesterday. Watched Gladiator for the 2nd time. I did not talked about me watching the English version already in Hong Kong. I just wanted to spend time with her.
Carol was used to watch the movie for the 2nd time with me.
Carol...
Lin and I discovered that we share quite a number of things in common. Her thought changed fast. One thought jumping to another in no time and warning. Carol did not like me when I was acting as such. Lin... Carol... well, they share something in common, too...
Well, I better stop comparing...
Ha.
Could hardly help myself but compare... damn...
In the relationship arena, Carol has been the only one who could conquer me in the long run. Lin might very well be the 2nd one. I'm afraid. I dare not to call Lin at this moment now, cuz' I'm a bit afraid of losing my sense of control again.

Miss no one right now.

carol: Glad to have you started the blog.
well, just a reminder that you have to edit your personal profile in order to have your nickname shown so our beloved audience out there know who wrote the blog message.

I'm very very vulnerable in front of an attractive girl. Lin made me lost my sense of control. Her eyes knew how to speak. She smiled, she laughed. Wooo! I'm totally conquered by her on Sunday night. She brought me back to her home. I thanked her for trusting me even it's the first time we met. We took pics, we played puzzle together, we listened to songs...
She agreed to meet me again tonight. Yes!

On Sunday, I met Lin. Lin is the by far most attractive girl. She reminds me of a high school sweetheart I know back in McNair Senior High in Vancouver named Jessica. I knew Lin from a net friend called Mint.
Mint is a cheerful lady. I met her for business purpose last night.
I called Lin last night, and I called Lin this morning. I thought of her a lot. I'd really like to meet her again!
Jane called me last night saying that she scheduled a meeting for me with the Writer/Director of a Saturday show on a Shanghai TV channel. I'm gonna be their guest. The show is about love matching!!! ;p
Finally bought my wallet on Sunday. So all my RMB got a home now instead of living in an envelope. :)

Now at a Internet coffee shop called "Sparkice iCafe" around Huai Hai Lu Zhong Lu with Jane... again... for business purpose.

I met Jenny. She's not as gorgeous as I expect. Of course, I expected "too much". She's pretty anyway. I learned how to say "You're pretty!", "You're very pretty!", "I like you!", and "I love you!", and "I really like you!" in Shanghaiese. We both agreed that we seemed to know each other for a very long time. We seems to be very comfortable together.

Got calls from Ms Gao. She said the girl tonight was unable to make it to the date but she asked me to go to her office anyway to let her examine me first! lol
I called Jenny, the one who supposed to be gorgeous, and set up our date sooner. The date is now at 7:00pm.
ERic, Good Luck!

I got calls from Miss Jiang (Mr. Chai's gf; Mr. Chai is Wong's friend) asking me to call Ms Gao. Ms Gao is Miss Jiang's friend who runs a company that get single people connected to the opposite sex... I don't know what it should be called in English... So Ms Gao arranged a date tonight for me. The girl is 170cm tall. I got another date at night around 8:30pm with another girl known from friend365.net who claimed she had done modeling for 2 years. She better be gorgeous cuz' I'm starting to expect "too much" from her appearance!!!

I felt like I've put myself in Carol's shoes... the act of dumping... (laughing sadly...)

I was in deep shit for the last 2 days. Seriously ill. Big time fever. Jane came the day before yesterday. I kindly asked her to leave... She said she could understand that I don't have feeling for her. But she kept acting like we're something more than just friend... gosh... I couldn't stand that... The more she tried to be kind to me the more she irritated me. I escorted her back home after quite a few rounds of yelling to her. She was frustrated. She called me up yesterday again. I hanged up. ;p
Fuck... I'm like ...

Now listening ATB - 9PM (Till I Come).

Just came back from McDonald. Had a lot of food: ice-cream, fish burger, coke, fries, apple pie. :)

The first thing I see on my desk is a courier pack from Jane. She's sending me a pack of aweto capsules, and a pack of Cefalexin capsules. Well, I think these are some medicine (Carol might know what they are...) for me. Damn, I told her I was a bit sick last night on the phone. Damn.
You know what the feeling's like??
"Thank you. But please don't treat me so nice."
God damn it!
Jane noticed that I didn't have feeling for her. She was very disappointed. I really don't want to hurt her. What should I do. Well, shall I do it the "Carol Way" or "Sis Li Way"?

Sis Li Way: referred to my cousin who treated every follower with extreme repect. In fact, she rejects men with a formal hand written letter. She made perfectly clear message about the "NO!".
Carol Way: referred to Carol of course... Carol is like... "Let the feeling drive everything and there is no promise, no rejection, only FEEL... Can you feel? Can you feel I'm rejecting or accepting you???"

The first time in my life I think I'm going to make a formal rejection to a girl. :(

Sorry Jane, I'm not for you....
Sorry Jane, I don't love you and never will.
Sorry Jane, go away. We might be friends only, but nothing more...

What shall I say. Please advice. Gosh!

Just got calling message from Jane asking me to call her if I have time. Got call from Miss Lee as well. Got call from Linda again. I said I was busy. Shall I reject them? Just got call from Ms Ng asking me if I like Miss Lee... I said it was ok... She asked me if I still want my paper ads to be published. I said of course!!! I'm not giving up yet. I'm still hanging on the "searching" mode.

I heard Carol went to Mexico the other day from Gilbert, the guy who introduced Carol to me the first place.
Carol just icq me. Maybe she's just back from the trip. The icq message went as follows:

Carol 8/14/00 1:47 PM are u there?
ERic 8/14/00 1:47 PM nice to hear from you
Carol 8/14/00 1:48 PM how r u?
ERic 8/14/00 1:48 PM at www.ericarol.com

This is the end of the conversation just a while ago. Hope you're reading it now, Carol. I'm feeling kinda excited to letting you know the existence of this website this way. :)

Now listening the mp3 version of Paul Oakenfold - Home @ Space, Ibiza. Simply irresistible sound.

On Sunday, Jane called me for Karaoke, lunch and for dinner. I went. She liked me. She had feeling for me. Gosh... am I becoming so popular these days?? Ah! No No ar!!! Help me ar!!!
Afterall, I loved Carol still. Shit... what am I talking about. I'm such a piece of scum!!! Forget her ERic!!! You're not gonna get her back, she's not for you man!!!
It seems to me that I'd pursue girls who have boyfriends and ignore the passion of single woman?!?!?! Have I been fucked in the brain?? Carol ar!!! What are you doing at this very moment?? I miss you much!
Went to the shlove.com's office to meet the first girl recommended by Ms Ng. Miss Lee started her career at an early age because of her family needed her to support. She got herself into university all on her own. She's making a lot of money now in Shanghai even judged by Hong Kong's standard! How am I gonna deal with this her?? haha. I like her self-confidence though! She's a very cheerful woman, too!

Had lunch with Ping and her family on Sat. In fact, I had some feeling for her. Afterall, she's an attractive girl!
She's now working in an ISP. She's not exactly happy with her man now as I sensed. I didn't want to make the conversation that morning too emotional, so we didn't talk too much about her love life. I kinda avoided that topic.
Went to Miss Liu and John's home to have dinner afterward. Wong and Miss Chu were there too. Miss Liu cooked. She's such a passionate woman that everything she's talking about carried enormous among of energy! In contrast, John is a quite person. Wong once told me that John was quite serious about this relationship. Had great fun dining with them. Food was just delicious.
Went to Shanghai's famous disco "Real Love" after the dinner. When I was dancing, the second time in my life on the dance floor... Wooo... I was picked up by a girl. I danced with her for a bit. Miss Liu and her friend came to join me on the dance floor. The girl was expelled from our dancing circle after a few minutes. Miss Liu asked me if the girl was my friend, I said to her, "No, and Yes". Too noisy on the dance floor so I didn't want to explain it. Anyhow, she noticed and she understood. lol
The night was a great night for me in Shanghai.

Yo Yo. Hi Hi. Finished the meeting with JTU. Well done I thought. More dialogue is needed. Met Jane for lunch. She's nice. Just doesn't feel right. I like talking to her though but never be able to make it to the point where I can love her. Dated Ping the other day. She promised to go out with me on Sat or Sun. I bought 2 train tickets to SuZhou just in case she's willing to go with me to a farther place to play.

Got reply from shlove.com. Ms Ng at shlove.com recommended a pretty girl for me to meet. I'm going to meet her on Sunday 7:30pm.
Victor from KL met Big Mic and Nelson. Got some memorandum done. Great! Our product will get promoted in Malaysia!

I miss you mom... Gordon, I'm sorry I haven't been a good brother. Feel like crying now... bitter feeling in my heart now.

Got an appointment for tomorrow morning with a professor in Shanghai Jiao Tong University.

Went to shlove.com paid for my membership. The lady, Ms Ng, there told me that I should bring her a photo of mine. It'll help me get more response since I'm good-looking. Ha Ha!!! Right! Maybe that's one of the problem as well. The feeling of being called "good-looking", of course, felt great; but on the other hand, I always feel that something is missing when people gave me this compliment. Well... never mind... compliment is a compliment. You got to appreciate it!
Right? Right.
I can still remember Carol told me that I'm not good-looking and I looked kinda weird. I got feelings, too. Maybe I'm just a normal man, but I certainly don't want to look weird. She got me there. I was fucking crazy to love this woman who had appreciate my "weirdness" rather than my other goodness.
We were young. We knew nothing about caring about other's feeling.
Ha... back to what we talked...right... shlove.com...
Ms Ng recommended me a girl whom she thought nice and good-looking. She's trying to set me up with her on a date. Hope to hear from Ms Ng soon. I'm quite desperate. I don't know why but I'm desperate to meet a girl I can fall in love with. I'm so-called in a "searching" or "browsing" mode. I always believe that I'd find someone who can fit me again just like Carol fitting me in the old days.
I went to dine with Wong, Miss Chu (his gf also my employee), Wong's friend (forgot his name.. damn!), and his funny gf Liu... haha... I can always remember girl's name even this is the first time I met her. Wooo... I am crazy about woman!!! Yeah!!!
I took a taxi back home. On my way home I thought about if I'm going to have another relationship again, I'm going to be normal again. Normal means not being so desperate and thirsty about women. I'll leave my "browsing" mode... hopefully soon. The funny thing is that at that very moment, I was thinking able Ping.
Oh... Ping...my first friend, and best friend in Shanghai. Are you happy with your man now??? Will you be the one whom I am searching for???

Just add a new banner on top with me sleeping when riding the Airport Express. It's taken by Lawrence after whole night of raving at the Sasha Asia Tour.

Just found out the problem with the registration page where a single quote cannot be put in. Great! At least we found out what the problem is. The launch day of our product is getting closer and closer. Ohm... longing for that day for so long. Wishing that I'd meet someone great at shlove.com tonight. Going to dine with Wong and his gf, Ms Chu tonight. Seems very productive today... is it really?? Ha Ha...

Fung told me, "don't think, just feeeeeeeel...". Carol didn't like argument or extensive reasoning, too. I wish I've realized this methodology of working out things sooner...

Just went lunch with Yang. He's making around $3000 RMB a month. I wanna save him some money by asking him to take me to some cheap place to eat. This is not the first time I eat cheap so I'm fine with it - $7.8 for noodle and a glass of coke! It tasted nice! However, he asked me if I'm used to it after the meal while we're walking back to our office. I was a bit surprised he asked me this. Well... I hope he can somehow learn to drop this "class thing" or else he'll never make it to the top. Besides, I'm not the kind of a person who looked down on thing just because it's not expensive enough to show off my spending power!

There is some problem with the code Wai left us. The code contains an image which will affect the layout of some design. We're working on fixing this problem. We need extra computers in Shanghai. We also need faster connection. The damn phone line connection is too darn slow and fucking unstable. Really want to get rid of it and get an ISDN or some faster connection here. Asked Ms Chu to shop for a better connection. Why didn't we buy a computer sooner?? Gosh...

Now it's really EARLY in the morning now. I should have slept by now. Met Linda yesterday night. She's cute. Had dinner with her. She's not for me. She lacks the self-confidence I'm looking for in a girl. Shall I give her another chance to proof?
Met Michelle after the dinner with Linda. Had a drink with her near her home. She looks a lot like a old buddy of mine who went to TKPC together. I told her that. Hope I didn't really hurt her feeling by telling her she looked like an old MALE friend of mine. I like her... as a friend only. Really. She's smart, smart, and ... smart. With Fudan University's degree, she's entering the E&Y as a CPA. Good luck! Michelle!!! Shit, I lost her contact number...
I'm feeling kind of lonely again now. Had no intention to call up anyone. I got no friend. I am afraid to get involved into anything except my business. I'm afraid I'm going to lose my battle again. I'm not sure if I'd be able to handle failure again. I should have learned to fail gracefully by now, shouldn't I? Or did I really learned? Oh... fuck... :p
I'm going to go to shlove.com to register as a official member today...

Had a pretty HEATED conversation about the approach we should take to fight for the next round financing and ...

Ho Ho Ho. Stress out ar!
All work but no play make Jack a dull boy!
All work but no play make Jack a dull boy!
All work but no play make Jack a dull boy!

Lunched with Wong and his gf. He seems thinner than the last time I seen him. Thinking about Linda now. Don't know how she's doing right now. Had a great conversation with her yesterday night for over an hour. I begin to realize that maybe I can accommodate just any girl, Fit into their conversation, get into the mood of what they are talking about. Maybe it's just what they are trying to do as well. The pictures I was sending around gain much popularity. Thanks to Lawrence. He helped me make the first "ERic & the Beach" looked just great. He taught me a lot of Photoshop technique as well. Thanks to Fung as well!!! He taught me quite a number of neat tricks, too!

Don't know what Tony's doing right now in Vancouver. Maybe he's having a good time with Vicky now. I envy him sometimes being able to spend time in Vancouver!!! ;) Well, he's missing the fun being in Asia... well... never mind... not important. I hate getting into the mood of thinking about just anything related to Vancouver, cuz' it will lead me to think about Carol. Are u reading this Carol??? well... I still think about you... damn....

Finally, I arrive Shanghai. Just got my computer's dial-up connection up and running. Talked to Linda on the phone yesterday night. Gonna meet her the first time tonight. I met her on shlove.com. She seemed quite. But anyway, it all depends. Spent 35 mins in the Taxi trying to get back to office this morning with a lot of traffic.

I think I'm going to invite Carol to say a few words here later on. Well, Carol, my former girlfriend, first one I ever seriously loved and even thought about marrying to, broke up with me around the end of 1999. This domain name ericarol.com is something I've wanted to registered and published for a long time. A friend of mine, ukjoe, gave me the idea of using Blogger to finally make this site come true. Thanks!!!

Just finish editing some of the layout. Tired... sleepy... leaving for Shanghai tomorrow. Haven't packed yet, damn....

Hello everyone!! This is the first time I'm using this Blog thing. Still editing the template. Hope you'd like it.