I think I am slowing drifting away from the shadow of carol. She had made me not-myself throughout the whole year 2000 and also carried on to the biginning of year 2001...... daniel came back. He told me that carol's not worth it. He said carol's too negative. It might not be what daniel had said. However, this triggered my sense of being myself again. I dumped my passionated activities such as listening to classical musics and swimming after I was with carol. I bought a few CDs recently. I listen to them. I read books about classical musics again. I am beginning to enjoy life. I am definitely not trying; as a matter of fact, I am enjoying my life now! I'd recommand you to read books written by Swafford, Jan if you want to explore what's available in the classical music as a biginner.